Half Love

Two weeks later , mum called me she is coming to visit me tomorrow. I was glad and I told her no problem but that two weeks I haven't heard from brado. I checked his house , give him phone calls but none of his phone was reachable. The thought of my mum coming give me relive atleast I will have someone to rely on because this days my best friend is very busy.

I remembered when his friend called me the other day to meet him in a popular restaurant ,That day we really talked and I told him my opinions and he Left. He didn't tell me anything . I don't want to overthink but they'll give me no choice. I mean All of them because they'll have been behaving suspicious ,no one wants to come out clear but I knew something was really going on .

Let me wait for  mum, I think. I keep trying his number but nothing was going through , we really didn't have a fight, I remembered the last time we saw,  we both went out to have fun, slept at his place even though nothing like what you're thinking happened and The next day he promised to be there for me. I don't really know when tears started dropping because the thought of this want me to shed more tears and today no one to console me.

I took like 1 hour to cry , I keep having bad feelings but I hope it wasn't true. My mum sudden call to visit me , suprise me  even though I didn't sound like that. I don't really know why have been tearing up ,I just need to come to conclusion that I love him and I really need him by my side.

The two weeks without brado calls feels life is useless ,Even though I didn't use to see him often atleast I do hear his voice on phone, I didn't know when I sit down on the floor ,I keep regretting what I told his friend " Catching fun with your friend is good than loving him ". That was the word I told him before he stood up from my side . The next day seems look and eventually I fall asleep on the floor.

I woke up late the next day, it was my mum call that woke me up. I checked the time it's late already.

Mum, Good morning.

My daughter, Are you still sleeping ?

Not really but just woke up.

Where are you now mum?

Check through the window , you will see me.

I checked through the window , I didn't see her, immediately I turned to go back, I saw her, I screamed and ran out to meet her. I was wearing tight and short top, like I care, it's my mum.

Mum, I embrace her.

My darling.

She gave me a cool peck on head and I feel relieved. I took her bag from her and we both went inside.

I help her with her load inside the extra wardrobe left but she asked me to drop it because she brought something for me.

Wow, mummy, what the fuck can that be.

Immediately mum slap my butt, who the fuck are you . "She smiles"

It was then I remembered mum has warnred me not to use fuck in her present. I grew up in state ,so fuck have become part of me.

My dad and mum leave together before he died so I was in the state when he died, I only have little good memories of him. Then, I hope death could bring him back but it was a false hope . I barely sleep then ,I always dreamed about him and the guitar he brought for me on my birthday. He do treat me like a princess when he was alive that is why I'm in between hard girl and a cry baby but I really don't show it but this crazy girl of mine knows . I'm more emotional than her ,I had hope to have many memories with him if I come back from the state but death took him away .

Sometimes my mum would wipe till the day break when my father left , As a small girl around 13 ,I could console my mum and wipes along with her. The guitar have been in my dad room and my mum has Lock the room because I'm always going there to weep but now I'm a grown lady, Have learnt to accept things how it comes and move on.

My mum open her luggage and brought out some chocolate ,I still remember the taste of the Chocolate ,when I was little that my dad favourite chocolate and I got to love it to .My mum surely knows how to baby sit me at my old age. And , she brought out some cloth .

This one is for Brado.

What !Mum , you only bought cloth for Brado. Where is mine ?

Are you still jealous of him?

I looked at my mum and I gave her a tender smile. Jealous, I can't. He is the one to be jealous of me.

Immediately I kept mute and I sat down on the bed, Ignoring my mum glance.

What wrong my dear?

Mum, I don't even know when I started crying when I called her name, lately have been so emotional. I really don't even know. Everything feels the world is against me , maybe that my thoughts but is kind of true.

My mum heed her hand for me and I come closer and she wrap her hand on me , feeling my head on her shoulder.

Tell me my baby, what wrong ?