Not a him (Editing)

Chapter 25

I sat on the eage of the lake, hugging my knees while I watched to shining water ripple from the waterfall.

"Why are you alive," I asked before thinking.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. I was... I just..." I tried to explain but failed horribly.

"I get what you meantt
, and now I know why I am alive. What you did saved me. You healed me and if a purling is willingly able to heal someone he or she is pure enough to be a purling."

My eyes grow wide in shock as he explained to me what I did.

All these year, I had thought that I failed trying to save my mate, when he is sitting right next to me.

"And I will make sure you never feel like that again," his hand tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as I closed my eyes in shame.

"I said that out loud didn't I. Damnit."

"No I just have a thing with minds," he laughed.

"You have abilities now! Show me."

He smiled at my eagerness and begin to focus.

Out of nowhere, we were no longer sitting in my beloved cave but on the beach back home.

"How did you..."

"Its called teleportation."

"You can do that? Holy shiplites," I said looking around as the sun slowly set over the ocean.

I looked back at him and saw his eyebrow raised, questioning my words.

"Yeah that's one thing I've been trying to quit after you died. I notice that I had a serious problem with the word fuck."

"You don't have to change," he placed his hand on my cheek, his thumb gently rubbing against my cheek bone.

I can't give him what he need. The old me would had told him to fuck off and then kiss him until we where both out of breath. But, that not me anymore. I'm a mess.

"We should go," I said, moving my head, stopping the sparks from his touch. He frowned at my lack of response but did as I wanted.

Suddenly we were back in the cave, ever thing the same as it was.

Quickly I got up from my sitting area and attempted to walk away but was stopped by a angelic voice.

"Why does this feel like déjà vu."

"What does," I asked not bothering to turn around.

"You running away from me."

I sharply turned around to face him.

"You don't know how bad I want you. How much I want to kiss you. How much I want to hold you. How much I want to tell you how much I love you, but I can't..." I said, tears rolling down my wet cheeks, "I'm not what you need. I'm weak and helpless."

"You are none of those things. Your-"

"Perfect? I am far from it. Did you know that a purling can suffer through depression." His face was filled with sadness as I told him.

"I found out right after what happen to the cub."

Confusion covered his face at my words.

"I found out about her a month after we mated." His eyes grow wide as he realized what I meant.

"You're-"

"Was... I was pregnant."

Sadness filled his entire being as I corrected him. Tears fill my eyes as I explained what had happen to our cub.