"What is better than a pigeon and human having sex?"
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oh my god i was so cringy back when i wrote this
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NOTE; If you get traumatized, it is not my fault hehe
hi, so I was cringe as fuck when I published it and I sincerely apologise on my behalf but if you still wanna read it, go ahead.
It was a fine evening, Louis was walking down the street to visit Olivia(bossgirl😍)'s apartment because he had nothing better to do.
He kept walking *walkitywalkitywalk* and saw some disturbing things like Monica giving head to Chandler on top of the fire hydrant, a dilf using street lights as dildos (he has a big hole sigh) and a girl masturbating with a whisk in the Ariana Grande merch store.
Another normal day is what Louis calls it. Louis had a long walk ahead, I mean walking from England to Italy is a big deal YK(mf doesn't have a car😔)
By the time he reached France (ik my geography🙄) his legs were sore. "Oh kind lady, will you help me unsore my legs?" Louis said to the Asian lady with black hair who dressed like a billionaire(yes Rachel chu, continue reading😩).
"आबे चुटिये जा गांड मार, आया बड़ा बहन का लोडा" the girl said to him. "Aww thank you, you are so kind" Louis replied to her and stuck a finger in her mouth to collect spit. he continued to apply the spit to his sore legs. Meanwhile, the Chinese filo stared at him with wide eyes for a while then ran away(dramatic ass, what's wrong with applying spit to sore legs🤨).
He continued walking and said "Bonjour, Je m'appele loui huh" to every person he saw, now his throat was sore... 😏
He finally reached Italy, it was surprising for him because he thought it would look something like this (picture) and not how it actually looked like. ( isn't Italy a pizzaland?!🍕)
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He finally found Olivia's apartment after swimming in the streets of Venice (the bitch couldn't use the sidewalk or whatever they were on the side). A soaking wet Louis was standing in front of a house that looked like one of the haunted houses on Halloween. (with the goofy pumpkins duh)
"Knock knock" he called out. A male voice replied, "Who's there?". Louis knew that voice, it was Harish Shrivastav or aka Harry Styles. He knew he had to play along so he said," Oprah". The voice shouted, "Oprah wh-. Wait I know what you are doing!" Harry knew if he fell for it there would be guns at his head (at least I would put a gun and then kill him. I don't mind, gotta protect oprah💪🥴).
Louis just laughed it off and went inside. He walked in on a bald Olivia and Harry using her hair as a dildo (noice🍑🍆👅👨🦲💦). "Oh- you're busy-" Louis started, "I'll just go fuck Kevin then-". "Okay! Have a great time Loulou!" Louis waved them off.
After an interesting walk back home (he saw a girl eating a marshmallow out of her butthole, wouldn't that be interesting) Louis called Kevin," Yo yo old friend!" he said. "Yoyo" Kevin replied. "wanna fuck?" Louis offered. "Shore". (Yes, Kevin can talk, get over it.)
After a while, Kevin arrived at Louis' place with condoms tied to his wings and lube in his paws. "I got the stuff, let's fuck" Kevin said. "Okay" is what Louis replied with. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled down his jeans leaving him in only his boxers, and well... Kevin is always naked(harry styles xfactor so true) so... yeah.
Louis shoved his tongue in Kevin's beak. One hand focuses on picking up Kevin and the other caresses its feathers. Kevin moaned, and Louis knew he was doing great.
Just as they continued making out with Kevin's claws on Louis' hard dick, a startling sound with dust flowing everywhere occurred. Kevin and Louis stopped kissing to see what happened. He saw Dumbledore and his pet phoenix standing there.
Dumbledore's eyes wide open and the phoenix's wider. Dumbledore looked towards his phoenix and said, "I promise I would never do that to you-". The phoenix flew away scared and dumbledore chased it while wiggling his big fat juicy ass (😩✋).
"Uh- Let's continue" Louis broke the silence. Kevin and agreed and they started making out again.
Louis ripped the condom pack open with his teeth (porn star🤩) and slid it on his fucking massive dick (he still bottoms, IDC) and aligned his dick to Kevin's hole (this is making me mourn on the dead GC sigh).
As soon as he pressed in his dick, it went through Kevin's whole body failing all his organs (if it has any, sorry I failed biology) and Kevin died.
He knew he did a crime. Out of nowhere detective, Jake Peralta appeared with prison Mike! (the office>>>>>).
"Howdy, mf," the detective says. "Since when do you speak in Texan accent?" Louis asked. (the author has not watched b99 do not blame them). "None of your business, ma-ite. We are here to arrest you for killing the poor pigeon." detective starts speaking until prison Mike interrupts him, "AYE MATE! YOU WILL HATE PRISON IT IS BAD!"(yes, the author is a fan).
"Shut up mike" the handsome detective continued, "So, you are under arrest.". "Kinky" Louis replies. "Fuck off!" Jake shouts. "Yeah, no!" Louis shouts back. And Jake and Louis end up eating each other. (yum)
Mike comes near the camera and says, "Jan has nice mommy milkers👅💦 :)"
~Not The End~
So...HANDS OFF OF YOUR VAGINAS HORNY FUCKERS! btw this isn't edited so ignore the typos or grammatical mistakes. THERE ARE MORE CHARTERS STOP IGNORING THEM?!?!?!!?×₹×£$&×£$;×£$&'
