Unrequited Love ( Boy X Boy )

Day-4

The alarm woke me up at 5AM , I was still soggy from sleep but as I opened my eyes an excitement started building up. I am going to see him, really really see him today. It's been 2 years since I last saw him, would he have gained weight? Has he cut his hair again? Well it doesn't matter he would look good no matter what he did to his hair.

I washed up and put on my favorite hoodie ( his gift for my birthday 3 years back) and pair of black jeans. I thought of making a fresh cup of coffee, but decided against it. Coffee always made me a bit restless. I didn't want him to notice anything. I picked up my mobile to see if there were any messages from him, there were none. He might still be on flight. There were 100+ texts from my sister, and some missed calls from my mom. I dared not open any of the texts, I didn't want ruin today's mood, it's going to be good day today.

As I was scrolling through the messages, I saw one from my Dad. Well, that's a first. He never calls or messages usually, everything that needs to be passed to me was handed over to mom and she calls and tells me whatever my father wanted to say. It's like a complex messenger system within the family. There was only one line in text, and it popped up on the screen. It read how he wished I was dead that day. I sighed, he is right, I should've died that day. I don't know how they managed to save me, the sleeping pills I swallowed were enough to kill me off silently. I know, I am a doctor after all.  What my brilliant plan didn't consider was the arrival of an unexpected guest, his brother. He called the hospital immediately and I was saved.

It was the day when we got his marriage invitation. His parents came in person to our home and invited everyone. They were all happy and said it was my turn next. After they left, my mother as usual started her nagging. She said there was this girl on my father's family, and they were interested in proceeding with the proposal. I was emotionally so unstable that day after seeing the invitation that I blurted out the truth that I was gay and I already like a person. They were shocked and we had a big fight. My mothers tears were more painful that my father's beatings. I think they figured who the person I was in love with, after all there weren't many people around me. My father asked me to leave the house at the end and I left quietly. 

My mom called me afterwards, asked me if I was sure that I liked guys. I didn't know how to answer her, I have only ever liked him. She asked me if there are any doctors in the hospital where I work that can help me with my situation. I didn't know what to tell her, I hung up the call. It was my sister's turn next, she came for a visit and stayed for the whole afternoon. She said I was selfish for thinking about only my feeling and that my family's reputation was in line. She asked me to forget about everything and marry a nice girl. I tried telling her that's not how it works, I could never love a girl and I would never let a girl be cheated like that. The more I pushed back, the more she got aggressive. She threatened to tell him about my one side love story and have him hate me for rest of his life unless I agree to marry the girl they found for me.

After she left, I couldn't control my feelings anymore, I was really scared that she would call him and talk to him. She usually does what she says she will. I didn't want him to ever know about how I felt for him, I never wanted him to look at me with same eyes my mom had when she learned about me. There was a time in the past, when I used to fantasize about telling him and how he would reciprocate. But it's all in the past, the only thing now I could hope is for him to to never know about my feelings. With my family and his brother knowing the truth, I don't think its anything more than a wishful thinking now.

I was diagnosed with mild depression and insomnia during our hospital's yearly checks, I had the sleeping pill prescription from one of my colleague. I thought about it for a long time that night, and I ended up swallowing the whole bottle of tablets. I called him before I passed out, I remember hearing his voice over the phone and him asking if I was ok. I don't remember much after that, but he had sent his brother over to my place to look for me. His brother came in just about the time to save my life. When I woke up, his brother was sitting my my side. I begged him not to tell his brother about my situation, he didn't say much and just stared at me for a long while. I don't know if he ever mentioned that episode to his brother, but I got a feeling that he knew why I did it. It's been a week since the incident and my parents and sister came to know about it from the hospital. They stopped contacting me for a while now and It's a good relief as long as it lasts. I don't want to explain myself to anyone anymore.

Well, it's all in the past anyways. Today, I get to meet him and that's all really matters. I picked my car keys and drove to airport. I had to wait for an hour at the airport before my phone started ringing. It's a ring tone, I set specially for him. He told me that he got off the plane and was in checkout counter collecting his luggage.  I was so anxious that I hid away behind a pillar when I saw him.  He was talking with some other passenger next to him and laughing.  He immediately spotted me and came running to me and gave me a tight hug. It was as though nothing has changed. He smelled the same, his hair looked the same. He had same twinkling eyes that always shone with so much of excitement. It was as though the sun finally appeared over the horizon on a cloudy august morning. 

We picked up all his luggage and walked toward my car. He was continuously talking, I couldn't follow much of his chatter as usual, but listening to him speaking was enough for me. He animatedly continued his talks about some person who was sitting next to him during his journey and I was laughing stupidly. It's been years since I laughed so much, it was as though a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. We dumped all the luggage into the backseat of my car and started from airport. We reached his home by 7AM, and his parents were eagerly waiting for our return. They asked me to stay for breakfast and I politely refused saying I have to return to hospital for an appointment. I worked around the clock, so they didn't suspect anything. He called me back and reminded me to free up my time tomorrow, we are supposed to go shopping for his wedding. I smiled and promised him to be there on time. I was on a mandatory leave of absence from work after my attempted suicide, so I had no where to go than back to my apartment near the hospital where I worked. 

I returned home and looked through good dress shopping centers near our area. He had an awful taste in clothing , so he always dragged me along whenever he went for shopping. I was familiar with his style and likes, so it didn't take me much time to figure out 2 places where we could go tomorrow. He had also handed over much of pre-wedding checklist to me from the planner.

He claimed how he is such a scatter brain, and would forget the things on the list. He wanted me to arrange everything for wedding and to be with him for all 5 days till the marriage. I picked up the list and went through it for the 100th time, rechecking the list of things. Today was a free day in the schedule to allow him to spend time with his family. Tomorrow is dress shopping and wedding hall visit.