Unrequited Love ( Boy X Boy )

Day -1

I woke up at 10AM and washed up. I went around the resort knocking on all other rooms to get them moving. We were supposed to be back by 12 and our driver was already here. I went to wake him up last, but surprisingly he was already up and was sitting by the window gazing in to the sea. When he heard me coming in, he looked up and asked me to come sit next to him. I walked over and sat next to him. He looked at me for a while and asked me if I think he is doing the right thing by marrying the girl. I was surprised at the question and laughed at him. I told him that it was quite alright to get a cold feet on the day before wedding and asked him to stop worrying.

I kicked him lightly and asked him to meet everyone at reception by 12. I picked my stuffs that was already packed and silently left the room without looking back. 

We reached back by 12 as planned and he was immediately dragged in to the ceremonies for the day. Girl's side had already arrived by the time we reached , so his father called me and asked me to stop by their hotel to make sure that they were all settled. I picked up my keys as I was leaving, I saw my parents coming over to his house. I avoided eye contact, and moved silently away. He was standing nearby and and I heard him calling out to my parents in the happiest tone, I suddenly couldn't breathe and I ran away from his house clutching my keys tightly in the palm. I was sure that my parent wouldn't mention anything to him, but the fear was suffocating. I stopped running and collapsed on to the sidewall two streets away and stayed there for sometime before I was able to breath again. I quickly called an OLA and went to hotel to check on accommodation on bride's side.  

On my way back, I was much calmer. It's all going to end soon and I only need to suffer one more day. By the time I returned, his father told me that my parents have already gone back. They came by to inform that they wouldn't be attending evening ceremonies as they had other engagement they can't avoid. I sighed in relief, feeling much better already. Everything went smoothly in the evening , I was very busy managing everything that I felt really tired by the time we started for the wedding hall. It was around an hour drive from his house and the buses lined up neatly to pick people from house. I coordinated the departure of us and bride's team and made sure each bus had enough drinks and snacks. Once we reach the wedding venue, my role will finally be over. Everything else related to wedding will be handled by the event management team positioned at the wedding hall.

We reached the wedding venue by 5 and he was dragged into a photoshoot for an hour. When I saw both of them standing together taking pictures, I didn't feel hurt as I imagined it would. I was somehow peaceful and content, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. The evening went by really fast and it was almost time to sleep. The wedding muhurtham was early in the morning, at 5AM , so we had asked guests to return to the rooms early in the night. I made sure everything was in order, that his cloths are easily accessible and everything he might need was in the sight. I packed his evening cloth in to the bag and left it by the bed. As I was just leaving, he came back to room.

Seeing him, knowing that it might be the last time we spent time together, my eyes were tearing up. He didn't notice anything, I guess he was really nervous. But then again, he was dumb that way. He asked me to sleep in the same room as him , told me he was really nervous and anxious. I sat back down and consoled him, saying it was just wedding jitters and everything will go smooth. I told him that I would need to return back to my apartment to pick my cloths, as I had forgotten to bring the dress I am supposed to wear for wedding and reception from home. He told me not to go as it was quite late already and that I could wear one of his shirts. I said no, can't do as I had spend months planning for this wedding and I want my special shirt for wedding pics tomorrow. He was not convinced , but nodded anyways. I held his hand one last time before I left.

I took a night bus back to my apartment and by the time I reached home it was already 12AM. I opened my safe drawer with finger lock and grabbed my stash of sleeping pills that I had managed to save from last time. All the pills were confiscated last time except for this. I picked my car keys, my water bottle and my bag that contains the dress we bought on the second day in the mall. I left my wallet at home, it won't do if the recognize me  immediately. I drove out by 1AM from my apartment building.

When I reached the highway, I was calm and almost in dreamy state. I have been planning this for months , so I didn't feel anxious at all. I popped the sleeping pill one after the other with one hand while holding the steering with other. I gulped down a dozen and kicked the accelerator to maximum. I watched as my eyes blurred and the car collided into a blocker on the side of the road and toppled. I didn't die immediately as I thought I would, but the pain was lulled by the number of pills that I had taken. The road was almost empty at this time , and even if someone come to rescue they won't have any way to know who I was. They wouldn't even do a post-mortem as this will be an accident case. I hope he will never find out that I had planned this. I said sorry to him in my heart lying there in the middle of the road, blood pooling around me. Sorry that I was a coward and  that I couldn't live to watch him being someone else's. I thanked him with my last breath for coming into my life and for being the cause of the little happiness I have had. I wish we could still meet in next life and be together. I remembered whispering his name one last time, before darkness took over my consciousness.