Him

Part 1

Him: Part 1

                I met a boy today. He was nice and had a warm smile. His eyes shined when he smile with his deep dimples. I'm sure that I had seen him around school before but I don't think I ever paid any attention.

We have recently been assigned seats in our Year 12 English class. And we just happened to be out together in a group. With him sitting right in front of me.

I didn't make any start to talk, since I'm somewhat shy and didn't know him. He seemed just fine with the silence and that made me feel better.

Today he greeted me with a kind smile and said, "how has your day been" in the most sweet caring voice. 

To my surprise his facial features and comforting tone didn't match his edgy appearance. He was wearing a flannel with a band shirt, ripped skinny jeans, and black rugged combat boots. His charcoal hair flowed to the side and made him look like he belonged in a band.

"I'm fine, thanks" I responded. with a polite smile.

Today was one of those days where it took all the effort in the world to get out of bed and get ready. I wasn't feeling great and school really wasn't helping.  So when I said I was feeling fine, it was far from the truth. 

He must have seen right through my fake smile because he asked me,

 "What's wrong?" 

I almost broke down at that moment because, everything was wrong. But I coulnd't pour my soul to a boy I had just met the day before.

"Nothing, I'm fine really" I responded

I know he didn't believe me because he just gave me an understanding smile and changed the  subject. 

"Your name is Joanna right?" He asked 

"Yeah, I'm sorry I don't know your name." I replied feeling a bit guilty.

"Don't worry about it, It's James." He said 

" Hi James" I responded. 

He looked at me endeared and the look in his eyes made me feel like he truly cared who and what I was saying. 

The rest of the  class period I spent pretending to do my work but I was really just trying to figure him out.  

We exchanged a couple glances and smiles throughout the period. 

Near the end he then again asked me what was wrong. 

I just smiled and looked at him. Not saying anything to make him question me any longer. It didn't work.

"Why are you sad Jo?" He asked quietly making me believe that he genuinely cared. The nickname making my heart jump. Why did I feel like I had known him my whole life? 

I didn't have the strength to even smile this time so I slightly shook my head and did a kind of laugh/cry that made me blush. 

I kept my eyes on him and so did he. It seemed like we where trying to read each others mind without any luck. I had my head on my arms looking up at him and he down on me. 

The moment probably lasted a few seconds but In that time the loud English class we where in was suddenly quiet. And for that moment nobody mattered. It was just me and this new person I knew nothing about but felt like I did. 

It went away at the blink of an eye and disappeared when the bell rang to dismiss us. 

We walked away to our friends and ignored whatever had  happened.

I went home that day feeling uneasy. I was happy to have talked to him but I felt so empty right after.  Whatever interaction we had probably meant nothing to him, not even slightly as much as it did to me. 

The reason I felt that way was because I don't ever talk about my feelings to anybody. I don't even show any sadness. Because the truth is nobody can see behind the fake laughs and smiles you do to get throughout the day. And if they do. nobody really cares. 

Except he did.