a certain blade comes to my mind. it's so easy to reach, but I think of all those showers that burned when not supposed to. those times I had to wear things that hid me. who I was. did I really want to go back to that? I think of all the disappointed faces on my first day of counseling and all the depressing tones. do I really want those again? sometimes it's so tempting to go back to everything I've done before to relieve my pain, but I know if I give in then it'll be over. it'd be the final straw until I permanently fix everything. that's why I choose this. why I choose to get it all out before I snap. before I break.
