The romantic tension between two rather presidential former presidents is tested when Michelle, along with a beloved artifact from the White House, goes missing.
"My fellow Americans," Obama announced, with a hint of sadness in his voice, in the oval office. "I have an announcement."
"What is it, honey?" asked Trump curiously.
"The katana...it's missing."
"What?! Are you sure it wasn't Michelle or something?"
"That's the thing. Michelle...she's...gone," Obama said sadly, a single tear falling from his eye.
Understanding, Trump leaned in towards Obama and put a hand on his childhood crush's wet cheek. He looked into his eyes and said, "We'll find it and we'll find her. It's gonna be ok."
Obama smiled and leaned in closer. He kissed Trump, as if agreeing to what was just said. After what felt like five minutes to them, they walked out of the office.
"Do you have any idea where the katana could be?" Trump asked his crush, looking deep into his eyes.
"Yes, actually," Obama responded enthusiastically. "It's a katana, so it would want to return to its homeland in Japan. It's probably a good place to start."
The two jumped into Obama's presidential helicopter and started flying off to Japan. Both of them, remembering their moment in the oval office, blushed intensely at the thought of starting a conversation with the other, so the ride was silent. After four hours, however, Obama bravely put his head on Trump's shoulder, blushing while doing so. Trump smiled and hugged the President's head. The rest of the trip continued like this.
When the helicopter finally landed, the two of them jumped off and started walking. "Um, where are we going?" asked Trump.
"I can't say it out loud, the location is classified, and I can't risk having someone overhear it," Obama replied very calmly. "I only know this because it is the emergency katana location. You see, the katana had to have been taken by someone who was in the building. Even more disturbing, only a handful of people in the building even know about the emergency location. I'm worried for Michelle."
Trump's eyes widened in fear. "Um...Obama-chan....will you keep me safe..? Uwu."
Trump reached for Obama's hand. "Please grab it, please grab it," he thought to himself.
Obama took Trump's hand in his own. They kept on walking like this until [part of this has been redacted due to this information being highly classified].
"There it is! I see it! It's so...beautiful," Obama declared presidentially.
Trump looked right at Obama. "He really is," he replied, with a wide smile on his face.
Obama looked back and quietly pulled out an Uno reverse card from his pant pocket. He smiled.
The two walked towards the glorious katana, encased in a glass box. The two presidential men could see their reflections in the box, enjoying the other's appearance.
"It's quiet. Too quiet," said Trump in the dim lighting of the place.
Just then, they heard a sound. It was almost like a faint laughter, from the sound of it. It got louder, and louder until they saw him.
"BERNIE?!" Both of them screamed at the man hanging from the vine in complete shock.
"THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES! I STOLE THE KATANA! AYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAA!"
Bernie Sanders grabbed the katana from the box and quickly cut the vine with it. He glared at them with an insane fiery look in his eyes. He reached for something in his oddly large pocket. "You're gonna have a bad time," he said to the two men. Out of his pocket, he pulled out a spherical object. Obama, finally realizing what it was, looked at it, his gaze frozen in a mix of fear and shock. Michelle's pale, decapitated head stared back from Bernie's hand. He had to end Bernie; there was no time to be grieving.
Obama, now looking confident, stepped closer to his opponent. "Oh? You're approaching me?" Bernie asked. Obama, now at fighting distance from him, looked at his opponent with pure unfiltered rage. He felt raw strength begin to emerge from his body. His shirt and pants ripped as he started to get taller and extremely muscular, so much so tat his body was not able to keep up with such instantaneous growth. He kicked Bernie and he fucking died. He then grabbed the katana and instantly shrunk back to his normal size. His muscles, however, stayed. "Hehe...I hope Trump-senpai likes the new change (◠﹏◠✿)," he thought.
Trump stared at Obama up and down, now blushing. "I can't wait to get back to your office, babe. Sorry about your wife by the way."
Obama smiled after he heard his new lover address him as "babe."
"Eh, it's fine. She was kind of annoying me anyway. At least now we can be our true selves around each other, babe," he replied happily. He loved calling Trump "babe" back. Although he would never tell anyone, or even himself, he preferred Michelle dead rather than alive.
The two walked out, their hands intertwined in each other's, towards the direction they came in. Normally, they would have gone sightseeing in this place, considering the fact that they're fucking weebs, but neither of them could wait to get back home. They needed to put the katana back to where it belongs, but most importantly to them, they wanted somewhere where they could be alone...
The second the two got on the helicopter, they anticipated the ride's end. It felt like forever to them, especially knowing they could not do much on the helicopter. They could not trust the pilot with this top secret information.
When they landed after what felt to them like forever, they ran into the White House with the precious katana. Once he stepped into his office, Obama threw the prized weapon on the floor and threw himself on top of his lover. The two passionately made out until the sun came down.
"Hey...um...I lost my wife...so, will you sleep with me ('ω^＼)?" Obama asked Trump shyly while doing that cringe Tik Tok thing where you put your fingers together.
"Y-yes! I thought you'd never ask!" Trump replied with excitement in his voice (andinhispantstooifyouknowwhatimean)
The rest of what happened on that presidential day will be left up to your imagination.
THE END
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