Be green. Be neutral. Be at peace.
I wondered then, was it worth it to live? Was it worth it to stay and fake everything, to show
people that I am happy even if I'm not? Was it worth it to feel those pangs and the slow churning of my
stomach whenever I saw someone living their life the way they wanted?
Be neutral. Be at peace.
Someone once shouted at me. Why am I so numb and doesn't seem to care at all? I wasn't
aware then, of how frustrating it was to not show any emotion to anyone, I haven't realized it
then, that being apathetic could be an outcome of continuously suppressing one's feelings and
isn't born with us.
Be at peace.
Once in a while, I'll be jealous of almost anything.
I was jealous then, of people living their life to fullest. I was jealous then, of how a person
can be so kind and have the heart of gold. I was jealous then, of how a person can be so appreciative of something as small as hearing a thank you. I was jealous then, of how a person can be so brave and smile throughout the pain.
Be at peace.
I was once jealous of someone's sick way of being brave. I was jealous of someone's strength of being able to take one's life and be at peace.
Be at peace, they said, be at peace, but I couldn't.
Not now, not for forever not for death and not for life.
Be at peace, but why can't I?
