Liar Liar

6.

"Shiva tu aaj phir late?" Dhara asked him as he came home after dropping Raavi. "Itna kya kaam rehta hai tujhe?"

"Koi kaam nahi tha bhabhi. Woh chipkali mil gayi thi. Sarr kha rahi thi." Shiva replied.

Dev blushed hearing that. His brother was such a smart liar. Dev always had to lie about meeting Rishita and Shiva didn't even have to cover up. He straight up said it because everyone thought he hated Raavi. Shiva was really smart. He made sure no one would ever doubt him by faking fights with her his whole life.

Shiva went to the washroom and freshened up. He came and sat on the dining table with the rest of his family. Dhara went to serve him but he refused to take more than two chapattis.

"Nahi bhabhi. Uss gadheri ne zabardasti vada pao khilaye mujhe. Pet mein zyada jagah nahi hai." Shiva said.

Dev blushed hard and he had a coughing fit. His hunger died listening to his brother mention vada pao. He quickly got up and left saying that he wasn't hungry anymore.

***

As soon as Raavi reached college the next day, Kaveri came upto her. She dragged Raavi behind the college to a secluded spot and they sat on the bench. Raavi liked the attention she was getting after she lied about her and Shiva having sex.

"Raavi mujhe teri help chahiye. Kuch sawal puchne the tujhse." Kaveri said.

"Haa puch na Kaveri." Raavi smiled.

"Karan bhi mere saath karna chahta hai par main na bohot nervous hu. First time kya sachhi bohot dard hota hai?"

Raavi's smile immediately vanished. She had not expected Kaveri to ask her about sex. Raavi started feeling nervous. She had no idea. "Zyada nahi. Thoda sa."

"Aur tujhe achha feel hua tha? Tu sure kaisi thi ki tujhe karna hi hai? Tujhe darr nahi laga?"

"Haa achha hi tha aur Shiva tha toh darr ki baat hi nahi. Main Shiva ke saath comfortable thi."

"Aur pregnancy scare? Tu kya birth control pills leti hai?" Kaveri asked.

Raavi felt even more embarrassed. What all was Kaveri asking her? "Nahi."

"Toh tum dono condoms use karte ho?"

Raavi blushed even harder. She wanted to throw herself off of a cliff. "Haa."

"Kaha se kharidte ho tum dono condoms? Mujhe toh bohot darr lagta hai ki koi agar kharidte hue dekh le toh meri maut ho jaani hai."

"Uska arrangement Shiva karta hai." Raavi said.

"Toh ek baar please Shiva se puchke batana mujhe please." Kaveri said.

Raavi was absolutely horrified thinking about that. Shiva would literally skin her alive. She had never thought there would be so many practicalities about sex.

"Aur flavoured wala achha hota hai ki ribbed wala?" Kaveri asked.

Raavi really wanted to dig a hole and hide in there till she died. "Sab same hi lagte hai mujhe."

"Oh really? Advertising toh bade dhoom dham se karte hai yeh company waale." Kaveri laughed. "Achha Raavi, tum dono ne kabhi condom ke bina kiya hai? Aur tune kabhi after pills liye hai?"

Raavi shook her head.

"Haa yaar achha kiya. Meri cousin ne liye the ek baar. Uski toh itni halat kharab ho gayi thi ki kya batau..."

Kaveri proceeded to tell Raavi about her cousin and her horrid abortion story which terrified Raavi. She ran away from there saying that she had a project to submit and needed to get to class, before Kaveri could ask any more questions.

She met Kirti on the way to class and hugged Kirti. "Tujhe pata nahi abhi mere saath kya ho raha tha Kirti. Kaveri ko Karan ke saath karna hai aur woh mujhse information le rahi thi. Usko lagta hai main expert hu."

"Yeh toh hona hi tha." Kirti said. "Kitni baar kaha hai soch samajhkar baat kiya kar par tu toh meri sunti nahi. Agar uss raat film dekhne chale gaye hote toh yeh kaand hota hi nahi."

"Sorry Kirti. Main toh Dev aur uske friends ko impress karne ke chakkar mein bol di."

Kirti laughed. "Dev? Raavi tu gadheri hai? Dev ka patta tune khud cut kar diya. Ab sochna bhi mat. Tujhe kya lagta hai Dev aisi ladki se shaadi karega jo khud uske bhai ke saath so chuki ho?"

Raavi's jaw dropped. She had definitely not thought about that. Shit! Dev thought she had had sex with Shiva. Oh god! She had really messed up. She ruined her own relationship even before starting it.

***

Shiva was lying on the couch lazily and eating chips when Raavi came to Pandya house. She came and sat down before Shiva with a frown. He merely looked at her and got back to his chips. Her dramatics were annoying him now.

"Shivaaa, main kitni badi gadheri hu... Maine realise hi nahi kiya ki mere iss jhoot ki wajah se ab meri aur Dev ki kabhi shaadi nahi ho payegi."

Shiva's eyes sparkled. He hadn't thought of that either. Now he could live in peace. There would be no Raavi coming to irritate him. He wouldn't have to call her bhabhi for the rest of his life. Raavi whined while Shiva smiled. She was finally facing the consequences for her actions.

"Shiva, tu smile kar raha hai? Itni badi problem ho gayi."

"Ab kisi aur ko pakad le. Khud hi apna exorcism kar li woh kaand karke." Shiva laughed.

"Shiva tu toh-" Raavi got up to hit him, but she tripped on her own feet and landed on Shiva.

Shiva caught her by the waist and Raavi grabbed onto his vest, tearing it up. His shoulder strap tore and his vest came apart. They heard a loud gasp.

"Sorry." Dev quickly ran away seeing them in this condition. 

Shiva gave Raavi a death glare and she got up from him. She looked at him apologetically but couldn't stop laughing looking at his condition. Shiva took a step towards her and she ran. He ran behind her. They continued their Tom and Jerry game for sometime until Raavi stopped because she was out of breath.

"Sorry sorry. Main tujhe naya baniyan kharidke dungi." She burst out laughing again.

Shiva pulled her towards him and kept his hand on her mouth. "Chup. Ab chup rahegi tu. Jab dekho tere muh ka radio on rehta hai. Aur kuch na kuch kaand kar hi deti hai. Mera bhai pata nahi mere baare mein kya soch raha hoga."

He pulled his hand away and glared at her. Raavi pouted. "Mere baare mein bhi toh soch raha hoga."

"Toh woh jhooth bolne se pehle sochna chahiye tha!" Shiva said.

"Achha tu fikr mat kar. Humare breakup le baad bhul jayega sab kuch." Raavi said. "Waise uska mera chapter close ho gaya. Ab kya fark padhta hai."

Raavi almost left then she remembered what Kaveri asked her to ask Shiva. She had even texted Raavi to ask him that. Raavi had no idea where condom was sold. Maybe Shiva would know.

"Shiva..." Raavi came back and stood before him. "Woh Kaveri puch rahi thi condoms kaha se kharidte hai?"

Shiva's eyes widened. He was again stupefied by her question. Raavi took a step back in case he would hit her. His fists curled in a ball and he glared at her. "Tu shayad bhul rahi hai ki yeh sab jhooth hai. Main condoms kharidte hue nahi ghumta."

"Woh puch rahi thi.... Maine kaha tu hi arrangement karta hai condoms ka."

Shiva made a strangling gesture with his hands. "Raavi bhag yaha se isse pehle mujhse tera murder ho jaye."

Raavi didn't need to be told twice. She ran away from Pandya house quickly. Shiva slammed his fist on a pillow and screamed into it. This girl was making him go crazy. Nope, this time he wouldn't let her off the hook so easily. He was definitely going to make her regret her lie.