"I will ruin you baby," he whispers digging his nails into my hips sending a chill cascading down my spine.
"Then ruin me Jude, ruin me till there's nothing left of me." I spoke softly, "make me feel something, make me feel anything, make me feel al...
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Goodbyes are never easy, I know this which is why I never say it. I never said goodbye when my umbuya died from cancer when I was thirteen and requested to see me, I could barely look her in the eye let alone watch her fade into oblivion; therefore I said, see you soon.
I never said goodbye to my father when he left for the USA when my parents divorced, I locked myself in my room and refused to drive with him to the airport because I couldn't bear to watch him leave us behind chasing his American dream.
I never say goodbye to mummy when I leave for school, because I feel guilty every time I do, she originally wanted me to stay in Zambia forever and be a lawyer at UNILAS but I refused to. And the very second I did so, the very second I excepted my place at Fairbanks high, I looked in the mirror and saw that as much as I try to deny it and suppress it so dearly that above all I was indeed my father's daughter and there was no escaping him. There was no escaping the way his blood coursed through my veins, there was no escaping the way I was still paying for his mistakes, plagued by his misfortune.
