Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I'm Leaving Without You)

chapter 15

Harry curled in on himself as much as he could as another curse slammed into the wall barely a foot over where he crouched below the crumbling remains of what was once the wall between the living room and the kitchen, sending more bits of plaster raining down onto him. The little girl in his arms shrieked and burrowed tighter against his chest, and Harry pressed himself tighter into his corner of the kitchen cabinets, one of the handles digging painfully into his spine.

"I fucking told you we should have waited for backup!" Harry snarled, blinking dust out of his eyes. He hugged the girl closer and belatedly added, "It's all right, Emily. It's going to be fine."

Malfoy didn't even glance at him as he added more Shield Charms to the chunk of wall and cabinets, strengthening it against further spell damage. Another curse hit it before he finished and blasted a chunk of marble countertop across the room. "You know why we couldn't," he snapped back, then aimed a couple of Blasting Curses over the top of their makeshift bunker. Out in the rest of the house, someone screamed.

Harry knew Malfoy was right. The kidnapping case had escalated too quickly for them to wait. They'd had no choice but to go in right then, woefully outnumbered as they were, or risk Emily's death. They'd cut it terrifyingly close, even so. Harry had caught sight of all five wizards they'd been investigating as he and Malfoy had dived through the kitchen doorway, the little girl cradled safely in Harry's arms. Then the curses had started up, the wall had come down, and they were trapped.

His arms tightened around Emily, his hand cradling the back of her neck, and she felt so small and fragile. Another curse slammed into the cabinets across from them and they exploded in a burst of wood splinters and porcelain shards. Emily screamed again. A chunk of shattered plate glanced off Harry's shoulder, snagging the fabric of his robes but not cutting through, and the broken handle of a mug skittered across the tile floor near Draco. He knocked it away from where he was kneeling.

"You need to get her out of here," Malfoy said. He flung another four spells over the ruined wall, one right after the other, rapidfire in a way that Harry had never quite been able to master.

"Tell me something I don't know!" Harry snapped at him. The place had been layered in anti-Apparition wards and at least five wizards of highly dubious morality stood between them and the front door. "It's not like we've got very many options!"

"No, but there's one. You get her out of here. I'll cover you," Malfoy said, and Harry turned to stare at him. Malfoy's eyes were dark and serious. "You'll never make it to the front door, but there's a large window to the left. I can make sure you get there. Run for it and leave the rest to me."

Harry's throat went dry. "Malfoy, that's insane." Even as he said it, he leaned around the wall, to catch a glimpse of the window. It was closer than he'd thought, and if anyone could make sure he reached it, it was Malfoy. The bastard was fucking vicious when it came to casting.

"It's risky, but it's better than waiting around for them to bring down the rest of the wall," Malfoy snapped. As if to prove his point, a curse slammed into the Shield Charms and the cabinets trembled, pots and pans rattling inside them.

Harry knew he was right, the same way he was right about bursting in here without backup. A part of him wanted to insist that Malfoy be the one to take Emily while Harry stayed behind, but he didn't even bother to voice that thought. Malfoy could cast far quicker than Harry could; of the two of them, he'd be the one best able to hold out until help arrived. But that didn't mean Harry had to like it.

He inhaled sharply as his stomach twisted at the thought of leaving Malfoy here alone. "I won't do this again, Malfoy," Harry told him. He fought down a rising wave of nausea.

"We'll discuss that later. Good luck, Auror Potter." Malfoy's voice was brisk and determined and entirely too professional.

Harry hauled Malfoy close and kissed him, hard and quick and desperate. "I mean it. This is the last time I'm leaving without you."

Malfoy reached out with one hand and cupped his cheek, the supple black leather of his Auror glove cool and smooth against Harry's heated skin. "We'll discuss that later," he said again, and Harry heard the promise in his words. They'd have that conversation because there would be a later.

Harry tightened his arms around Emily and leaned close to her ear. "I need you to be brave for me, sweetie. We're going to get out of here but you need to be very brave. I need you to hold on as tight as you can, okay? Can you do that for me?" She nodded against his shoulder and Harry looked over at Malfoy. "Ready?"

Malfoy nodded back to him. "On three. One... Two... Three!"

Harry burst out from behind their cover at the same time Malfoy surged to his feet and fired off a Blasting Curse so strong it made the very air vibrate like the inside of a bass drum. Curses streaked past Harry in colored jets of light, bright and disorienting, and Harry squinted as he bolted across the room, his body hunched forward to give as much protection as he could to the small girl in his arms. Another Blasting Curse flew from the kitchen to hit the broad window ahead of him and it exploded outward in sparkling shards of glass and splintered chunks of window frame. A curse from the kidnappers shot by, missing Harry by inches, and Malfoy's retaliation was swift and merciless. Harry flung himself through the ruined window, and his foot caught against the sill. He tumbled down into the shrubbery below, twigs scratching his face and neck, and he wrenched himself free and sprinted across the lawn, spells lighting the grass in strobe light flashes, Emily whimpering and clinging to him, her small arms around his neck almost strangling him. A curse shot past him and slammed into the ground just ahead, blowing a small crater of dirt and grass out of the earth. Harry swerved to one side, dodged it neatly, and kept running.

He felt a slight tingle over his skin as he passed through the wards and spun around without bothering to slow, and he caught a last glimpse of the house, windows lit up by staccato bursts of spells, then the world swirled and vanished around him as he Apparated to the Ministry.

Harry landed in the Atrium and looked wildly around for someone, anyone, to help him. From behind him, he heard someone shout his name

At the sound of his name, Harry turns to look over his shoulder and finds Hermione lingering in the doorway. She steps out onto the broad back porch and eases the door shut behind her, then comes down the steps, aims a casual drying charm at the damp stair, and sits down beside Harry, tucking her black skirt demurely over her knees.

"Hey," she says. The misting rain is beading in her hair, little jewel-bright droplets clinging to the strands, reminding Harry of the strands of seed pearls threaded through her hair on her wedding day. He looks away.

"It's all fucked," Harry says hollowly, staring out over the grass. "This whole thing. It's all fucked."

Hermione doesn't say anything. She scoots closer to him on the step, until her leg presses against his, hip-thigh-knee, and she slides her arm through his and leans her head against his shoulder.

"I can't go back in there," Harry says. He rests his cheek briefly against her head. He forgot to shave this morning and his stubble catches at the strands of her hair when he pulls away.

"You don't have to," Hermione says. She scoots closer to him, pressing harder against his side, a warm and welcome weight. "You don't have to do anything you don't want. And if you change your mind later, Ron's staying through the whole thing and you've got your Pensieve."

"I won't."

For a long time, they sit in silence. Harry stares at a puddle, watching the tiny ripples on its surface where the raindrops fall.

"I don't even know why I'm sad," he says at last. "I've been dead. I know it doesn't hurt. He's safe where he is, and happy. And I'll see him again, one day. But I'm still... It still hurts."

"It's all right," Hermione says. "That's normal."

Harry laughs helplessly. "No, no it's not. But then again, when has my life ever been normal?"