Betty

NEW BOOK?

smoll authors note: HOLA GUAPO! I'm sorry, I haven't posted a lot;( I haven't had the motivation since one of my friends said my writing was 'cringy'. I felt like not writing anything more since I can't take bad feedback. I'm really struggling with it because I just tell myself I suck and it makes me lose motivation.

BUT! I started writing again so here I am. I wrote a chapter on a book I was thinking about. It's going to be named 'Dollhouse' which is inspired by Melanie Martinez' song Dollhouse. It won't be like Betty where a chapter is a line in the song, but it'll be pretty much based off it.

And George is not in the first chapter here, but he'll be in the next if I decide to write it. 

But here's the first chapter. Tell me if it's cringy and then I won't post it as a book:)

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

tw-slight abuse-eating disorder-self hate-mentions homophobia-

Dream's POV:

"Smile honey." my mother smiled. I didn't listen to her instructions. I stared blankly into the camera lens. My eyes looked tired.
"Son." my dad mumbled from behind me and grabbed my shoulder harshly. I winced slightly, that would definitely leave a bruise. The camera woman took a couple of pictures and told us to get in different positions. When it was all done I stopped smiling again. We walked up to Hannah, the girl we normally would hire when it was time for family photos.

I looked at the pictures she took. I never realised I was able to look so, happy? It was something I always thought I failed at, but in the photos I always managed to look genuinely happy. My siblings were smiling, but looked a bit tired.

After some time of my parents speaking with Hannah and complimenting her for her amazing work they started walking inside the big, modern house again.

"Hey Dream!" she shouted after me when I was about to walk inside. I quickly turned around and looked at her. I walked towards her after seeing her making a little hand gesture for me to come closer to her.

"Did it hurt?" she asked. I gave her a confused look, even though I knew exactly what she was talking about. She nodded at my shoulders where I could still feel my fathers tight grip like he was still holding me.

"Oh, not at all." I lied. She gave me a saddened look. I felt bad for lying to her.

Hannah had been a part of my life for a long time. She would always take pictures of me and my family. Soon enough we became friends. She was twenty-one, I was seventeen. After a little while she understood how I had it at home. I felt like she was the only one who understood. Everybody thought that I was perfect with the perfect life, but maybe that was better. If I acted like I was happy, maybe I would become happy?

Hannah was one of the four people that knew.

The others were Sapnap, Quackity and Karl. They were my best friends and the only thing that truly brought me happiness. Sadly, people didn't seem to understand that.

"I saw how he gripped you, that must've hurt." she mumbled, slowly inspecting my shoulder. Not like she could see anything, I had a shirt on.

"No, it actually doesn't hurt. I think I have to go. Dinner's probably ready." I muttered and turned around. She was used to it at this point. I didn't like talking about my problems. I could hear her sigh behind me but I didn't look back.

When I got inside I sat down by the table where my siblings were already sitting. Mom put down potatoes and steak on the table. I wasn't going to eat anything.

When I was fifteen my dad had said that I had to lose weight. I wasn't overweight, but my dad wanted a perfect son. I hadn't eaten, because I believed him. And eating is still hard for me. I don't see why when I'm fat? He also makes me exercise. I hated lifting weights and stuff like that, so instead I started on the football team. I have talent, which makes people like me even more.

I always tried to make my siblings happy. My older sister, Clara, had moved out a while ago. She's twenty-one and moved to the U.K to be able to be with her girlfriend. I don't blame her for leaving, but I really do miss her. She said that she would fly down at any point if we needed her. She's very sweet.

My younger brother, Cally, was pretty mean. He told me awful things, but I knew it was his way to express love. When growing up in a life with no real love, it's hard to know what's a good way to express it. I felt bad for him, he didn't have the life a fifteen year old should have. Though he was exactly what my father wanted. He always listened to everything he said.

My younger sister, Cammy, was actually happy. She'd spend most of her time at her friends' houses or in the skating rink. Even though she was just fourteen she had found the love of her life. She always spent time with them and they made her genuinely happy. I'm glad she's okay.

I wasn't happy with my life, but I had my friends, and I appreciated them alot.

But sometimes when I was with them I felt alone. They were all dating. I was so happy for Sap when he got two boyfriends, but I couldn't help but be jealous. Their parents were so acceptive over them. If I would have gotten a boyfriend all I would end up with is bruises and broken bones.

I deeply hate myself.

(814 words)

opinions?