Tyler:
My phone vibrates loudly on the kitchen table. Surprise; a new message from Troye. I just flipped a table.
I scramble through my twitter notifications and DM's to reach this message he apparently sent me, my heart beating so fast and hard that I feel the pulse in the back of my throat.
@troyesivan - "Hi Tyler, yeah sure I'd love to hangout sometime this week, I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you in so long, I've just been busy with songwriting and stuff. See you soon Tilly xx"
Ooh he called me Tilly, and he sent kisses. All is good, I'm just paranoid about everything, I'm just missing him so much that I couldn't think straight. Ok... Now I just have to actually make the plans.
My mind goes blank for a second. What the actual hell Tyler, you're just asking your boyfriend when we should meet up, it's not rocket science! I actually can't even think of the first word I should write.
And then I just write, stuff.
@tyleroakley - "Is Friday ok with you? Do you want to come round my place and you could stay the night?"
It took me a few minutes for me to realise what I had just sent him. Crap. Did I really just invite my long lost boyfriend to sleep with me? Just as I attempt to delete my desperate message, he's read it.
I may be slightly hungover, but I am sober enough to realise what the heck I just sent him. My eyes widen and I feel my stomach sink.
@troyesivan - "Sorry Tyler, I can't spend the night because of a business meeting on Saturday morning but I would love to hang out with you this Friday night! I'll be there at 4pm"
Well then, no kisses, no 'Tilly'. What the actual f*ck has happened between last night and now. Why am I even stressing over the fact he didn't type kisses when I basically just embarrassed myself by asking him to stay the night when he can't. I'm such an idiot.
Before I know it I'm typically 'sipping life from bottles' and I'm so stoned that I can't even reply to him. Why am I doing this to myself, it's not like I'm on drugs or anything but I'm so paranoid about the whole situation.
I'm overreacting.
