CH. 14 HOW DO I REALLY FEEL ABOUT THIS?!?!

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Being laid up sucked

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Being laid up sucked.  Like it really sucked.  Having Khelan with me in the hospital was a bit different than being stuck in a vehicle with him.  So, Cody gave me the option of letting the twins drive the repaired van and he would be a buffer between me and Khelan. 

I can admit that the male makes me ache and want things that I never wanted to want or need.  It wasn't fair that this hormone imbalance affects my better judgement around this male.  While, Khelan may say it's ok that I'm irritated about this mating thing, he wouldn't feel that way much longer.

Could I run from this?  Did I want to run from Khelan?  I hated these questions that I have no answer to and no way to know if what people are telling me is the truth.  How can you gauge truthfulness when it comes to matter of love, sex, desire and passion?  Those are subjective discussions.  My experience won't be someone else's experience.  So where the heck do you go to for advise on the subject?

Khelan is driving the new rig and I'm ready for this place to be left behind for now, but I needed to do one thing. 

"Where is Soli's body?  I want to see it."

Cody looked me in the eye.  "You don't have to do this.  You don't have to prove anything to anyone."

"I know, Cody.  But, I was with that version of him and while I know I haven't exactly lost Soli, I will miss that version of him.  I was terrified of having a wolf live with me, but Soli, was just so beautiful and those eyes."

"They are our connection," Soli said to me.  "They will be the same eyes in your pup.  But, I would like to see my previous body, the first body."

Cody gave Khelan the address and I showed him how to place it into my GPS system.  I had a large 11inch screen, tablet size, for the navigation and infotainment system.  I had all digital screens for the gauges, more cameras and microphones than before.  I'd made sure I had the best system on the market.

"This is nice!" Khelan yelled.  "I can follow a map, but only an idiot wouldn't be able to follow this thing."  

The computerized voice was from a version of Siri, female from Ireland.  She knew about an accident as soon as it was reported and I had scanners for speed traps.

When we arrived to the emergency Vet clinic, I was told that Soli's body had been cremated.  One of my representatives, came over to verify the dog's death and sign the proper forms.  She had all of the paperwork and a power of attorney.

I was given the forms that she signed and the name Grace Carver was there.  I was red eyed, mad and ready to fight though I technically had a fractured arm and leg.  I had on two casts and Cody had to poke me in the ribs to gain my attention.

Luce was riding with the twins in the van and he came in to get the paper work.  He informed the staff that the papers were a forgery and that I had no one but Cody, authorized to make a decision in the event that I could not.

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