Misery | A Bratayley Fanfic

09

Jade's POV

- FLASHBACK -

I was just finishing throwing up what I ate when I heard the door open and heard someone clear their throat. I looked over and saw Demi standing in the doorframe, looking sad and disappointed.

"I.. I can explain." I stuttered. I fucked up big time.

- FLASHBACK OVER -

Demi brought me into her room and made me sit on her bed. "Explain." She said, her voice firm but gentle.

"I.. I don't know how to explain." I admitted, feeling defeated.

"Well, how long has this been going on for?" Demi asked, referring to the purging. She sat down right next to me.

Don't tell Demi. You don't want to be a burden to your friend's sister. You don't want to trigger her.

"Jade? Jade!" Demi panicked, worry etched upon her face.

"Sorry, I zoned out." I told Demi. "What was the question again?"

"I asked how long you've been purging for." Demi replied. "But according to your knuckles, it looks like at least a year." She said, examining my hands.

I took a deep breath and whispered, "A year and a half."

"Why?" Demi questioned.

"I just needed something to control." I shrugged. "It felt like I couldn't control anything, and I knew that I could at least control what goes inside my body. Then I started receiving a lot of hate... everyone was telling me that I wasn't skinny and pretty like my sisters, and I believed them. So, I just kept purging whatever I ate."

Demi's face softened. "Jade, you're already so skinny. It's not healthy, and it worries me. You're worth more than harming yourself."

I felt defensive and scoffed, "You only knew me for two hours."

"It doesn't mean that I don't care about you. You're already starting to feel like a younger sister to me." Demi replied, trying to reassure me.

"Really?" I asked, feeling a wave of emotion. I never had an older sibling to look up to since Caleb passed.

"Jade, what are you thinking about?" Demi asked gently.

"It's just.." I paused, trying to find the right words. "I guess I never really had an older sibling to look up to since Caleb.."

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened to Caleb?" Demi asked softly.

"He passed away October 1, 2015." I replied, picking at my fingernails. "It's still hard for me to process. I keep putting up a façade because I needed to stay strong for Jules and Hayley.."

"You didn't need to, you wanted to." Demi corrected me.

"I.. I just really miss him and it fucking sucks." I said, my voice breaking. "It should've been me."

"No, no, no." Demi said, pulling me into a hug. "It's not your fault. It's unfair how God takes away people from us too soon, but you're still here for a reason. Everyone is here for a reason."