What it feels like to die

crumpled up letter

((yeah, don't judge it's a bit dark))

She was tired, physically and mentally. She wanted to close her eyes and never open them again.

Why was she sad? Why did she listen to that song on repeat for the past two days? Why didn't she answer his texts? What had happened? Did she think too much? Was it unreasonable to die? Is it ever unreasonable to die? Why can't everything be normal and simple? She was beautiful. The way she thought wasn't. Even though she didn't want to die, her thoughts convinced her that that was the best thing to do. She couldn't see herself getting married, graduating highschool or college. She couldn't imagine living in a world that was so unlike her. She wanted to live, she wanted to be with him. Did he want that? Will she ever know? She felt off, unwanted, even from those who have proved that they wanted her. In the end everyone had someone. And she was left alone in her room with her thoughts. She knew death was inevitable. So why wait for something that's going to happen anyways? She wanted to stop thinking, knowing that it wasn't helping her in anyway. A great cause, a black hole was forming in her life and she couldn't do much about it at this point. She loved him but she was beyond scared to tell him anything. It had gotten to the point where she would lock herself in her room and listen to the silence in hope that life would change. That a noise, a beautiful noise would occur. She waited in silence for the noise to come. She waited and waited. Then she started crying very hard. and she didn't want to live anymore. So she wrote this letter in hope that someone out there would understand, and love her in a way that she used to love herself. She placed the crumpled up letter in her dresser and hung herself in the closet.