Regret- J.M

-7

I woke up to the sun light shining threw my room , I shielded my eyes from it

I checked my phone to see what time it was it was currently 12:30 in the morning , I usually don't sleep in so late, I got up from my bed and walked into the bathroom and did my usual morning routine

I walked down the stairs , it felt so weird that no one was here , just me , i can remember when I was like four I always woke up to laughter and happiness but now I wake up to misery and sadness , so much has changed over the years , I miss being a child I was careless and worry free

I made my breakfast and watched more tv , I have got to find a job or something to do because I can not sit around here all day

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I decided on ripped jeans , a flannel, a leather jacket and my white converse

I made my bed and cleaned my room ,

I checked the time and made my way to the supermarket

I had my head down and I was listening to my music with headphones
I fell something hard hit against my chest
"Ohh good shot Jason bro" I hear a boy shout
"Thanks man" of course it has to be Jason McCann perfect

I held back my tears and carried on walking

I heard footsteps beside me and I hard slap come across my face
"What the fuck Jason " I said as I held my cheek
"Sorry did I hurt you awe my bad" Jason said being sarcastic
"Listen Jason I'm really not in the mood to fight right so please leave me alone " I said looking at him
"Why the fuck are you crying" Jason said turning his head
"Are you thick you Jason you bully nearly everyday , you hit me , call me names and I'm to scared to do anything about it I don't have anyone to tell so maybe Jason thats why I'm crying"I said pulling my hood back up

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I looked at the supermarket notice board to see if there was any jobs , I found a few and took down a few numbers , I done my grocery shopping and ordered a cab
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When I got home I put the groceries in the cupboards and fridge
I stared to make my dinner I just made a simple easy dinner

I was half way through my dinner when I heard the door rap
"Who is it " I yelled
"It's Jason "
What the hell is he doing here
I walked the door and opened it

"What" I said blankly
"Can we talk" Jason said fiddling with his fingers
"Sure "
I let Jason into the house , we both sat down on the sofa
"So what is it you wanted to talk about"

"I have to do this" Jason said smiling

He leant forward and pressed his lips to mine
I pushed back
"What he fuck are you doing "I yelled
"I can explain"
"We'll start explaining, please because I'm very confused why my enemy is coming to my house kissing me " I said all in one breath
"I hate hurting you ,i truly do and what you said earlier made me realise my dad wasn't right" Jason said thinking
"What are you talking about"
"It's hard saying this so I'm sorry if I can't properly say it but my dad used to hit my mom In front of me , I was helpless I couldn't help her she was in so much pain I hate my self for not doing anything but I was scared that he was going to hit me" Jason explained

I looked at Jason's face he was now crying
" Awk Jason it'll be okay I promise " I said rubbing his shoulder
"I know my mom loved my dad her eyes used to sparkle when she looked at him , my dad loved my mom he always apologised after doing all that and constantly saying he loves her, and I guess I learned from that but earlier when I saw you crying it was just like back then my mom would do exactly what you were doing bottling up her emotions and it made everything worse , I would always catch her crying when no-one was looking and whenever you asked her was she okay she used to say I'm fine but the pain in her eyes was noticeable and I felt sick that I couldn't do anything about it , when my dad finally left it was like a weight had been lifted of my shoulders " Jason said looking at me
"Jason I'm so sorry" I said breathing loudly
"Thanks , I'm used to that"
"So what's the point of all this" is aid looking down at my feet
" I really like you Katie , I don't know if its like you like a friend or something more but i do like you" Jason said looking at my face
"No Jason that's not right , no this can never happen I'm sorry" I said getting up and helping Jason up
"Please just leave you can't expect to come in her and explain your child hood then say you think you like me "
Jason opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him and pushed him outside