i've changed a lot this year
or maybe i haven't
what if it's all a facade?
a lie i tell myself everyday
while i slip on the mask
tell myself it's just one more day
a twenty-four hour period
however maybe that would be a lie also
perhaps i am better
not healed
but i have advanced closer to the finish line
instead of never entering the race
i wake up and i smile now
and it's a soft smile
a smile that says,"im not perfect, but im okay"
i have finally reached a point in my life
where I can say
"im fine"
and mean it with all of my chest
i still cry, yes
and i still feel pain from the wounds
but i don't cut them deeper anymore
im clean
im honest with myself
i put the bandaids on and tossed the blade out
so yes, i guess i have changed
