The Babysitter: Training | *paused*

Jigsaw

She died during labour.

Those were the last words I had wanted to hear that day.

No, I remember telling myself, this isn't possible! Today is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives-

Everyone said it - Caroline and Chris, the perfect couple, the power pair. We could get through anything together.
But alas. The universe didn't agree.
Not today.

Fortunately, I wasn't completely alone. I had friends who offered their condolences, and Caroline's parents were there for me too... yet nothing would be able to fill the Caroline-shaped hole in my heart. Yet another part of me that would be missing forever... like my parents.

But no, this is worse. Someone who actually cared for me, dead... at least I know my fathers are out there somewhere. Alive... as far as I've heard.

See, they ditched me because I had a crush on this boy from school once... they're not homophobic, that would be hypocritical.
They're just biphobic, that's all.

Pick one. Can't have everything. Greedy. Choose a side. Men or women.
You're no son of mine.

Just all the pain... without her it's overwhelming. I burst into tears.

I don't care if I'm in a public place, I don't care if people are watching me, I don't care if I promised myself not to cry, and I don't care if I feel like curling up into a ball and never moving again - all I want is my fiancé back, my only hope of a future back...

And at first I didn't even want to look at the baby. It would remind me of her. Always of her.

"But maybe that's a good thing" Samantha, who I guess used to be my future mother-in-law, who now is nobody more than my dead girlfriend's mother and perhaps a friend.
Well... my baby's grandmother too.

I finally looked up at her, tears still stinging my eyes. "But it hurts" I sadly whispered.

"And it will do, things will only begin to get better with time" she continued, wiping her own eyes.

Caleb, Caroline's father, clearly wanted to move away from the subject of death. He seemed rather uncomfortable with it... perhaps because of his own health. "Did you ever come up with a name?"

Shaking my head, I decided to focus on finding a name, but everything led me back to her.
"Emerald" I replied without a second of hesitation.

Nodding a little, Samantha caught on. "Her birth stone. His as well, it seems. The 22nd, three weeks after his mother's"

"Well the doctor says you can go see the baby now. Little Emerald." Caleb declared with a cough. "Why don't you have a look now?"

"N-No" I whispered, tightly gripping onto the chair I was sat on. "I can't, it's too much-"

It took me a long time before I even went into that room. Caleb was the first to go in, but Samantha waited with me. I feel bad because she was clearly struggling too; it was her daughter, but she was only really worried about me.

But as I did enter the room, and saw the tiny little thing, the smallest drop of hope lingered in my heart slightly. "Are his eyes supposed to be like that?" I had heard Caleb ask worriedly.

"It's not common but perfectly healthy." The nurse replied, giving a smile before heading off to do whatever he had to do next. I was just interested in whatever my no-longer future father in law was talking about.

I leant over the baby bed a little, patiently waiting for him to open his eyes. And sure enough, when he did, there were two bright green eyes, not blue as most babies have. "Definitely an Emerald, aren't you?" I whispered, reaching my hand in the box-like structure. It wasn't going to be alright; far from it, but possibly, just possibly, we could make it work.

***

Emerald's PoV

"Hai! I'm Emweld and me and my dadda came hewe to move house because nanna and grandad go splat in the car. Dadda sad and old home is bad memowies. I hope I make new fwends hewe!"

The room went a bit quiet.
"Well let's pair you up with a buddy, Emerald!" The teacher beamed, "how about Connor?"

A boy in the corner perked up a little, glancing over at me. I nodded and skipped over, sitting down next to him. "HEWWO!" He yelled, "you wanna cookie!? My mommy makes the best cookies. Does your mommy make cookies?"

I shook my head, a little sad. "Daddy make cookies. Mommy is gone."

"Oh no! That must be sad" Connor frowned, and I frowned too.

"I never saw her, so I don't know how to be sad about it." I replied. Connor returned with a rather confused and surprised 'oh'.

***

We were only 5 back then. Can you blame him for not understanding? I'm a whole three years older and wiser now. And he is too - well, the 'older' part anyways. My dad told me to be nice to everyone, even if they're bad. Connor was always in trouble, that was until he got expelled. I haven't seen him since and I'm friends with a few different people now instead. He's a bad influence, dad said.

I still got a lot of comments about the fact that I didn't have a mother. My dad doesn't like talking about her. Until people mentioned it, I didn't think about it much, but now I'm feeling an absence of something else. Something that was perhaps supposed to be there but was missing...

The jigsaw of my family was missing a piece.

Either way, I don't have too much time to contemplate over it at the moment, since my dad is looking into a new job. One that I could, too, apply for. At first it sounded weird, but I'm excited. It's just more time for me and dad to be together, and I'm really happy about that.

Other kids would be there too. New people, so new friends. I'd like that.

I'd like that a lot.