𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

오

// TW : eating disorder , body insecurity and insecure thoughts + body dysmorphia //

the mirror reflected a boy, barely known to jisung himself. in the special mirror, the boy seemed to stare back, face blotched up , fat visible under his expanded tshirt, his bloated stomach visible due to the right shorts he was wearing.

jisung's mind was put under a spell.

in reality, he was as all skin and bones. his bones stuck out , his ribs visible. he looked no different than a skeleton. he seemed oblivious to the way his pants no longer hug his hips. he was delusional and didn't notice how his clothes seemed to fit him lesser and lesser. even his sunshine boy , felix, commented that he needed to eat more.

all that he could think about was just the piercing sharp words of his bullies. " you're fat. " no wonder no one loves you " their comments echoed in his head, tearing down the walls jisung had attempted to put up on his own.

as if the pain could not get any worse, jisung's stomach started to growl. the gastric juice washing over his stomach walls caused him to contort in pain. he expected this, the consequence he had to pay for starving himself was extreme gastric pain. ( authors note : please don't starve yourself like i did >< )

rivers soon started streaming from the boy's brown orbs. he wiped the away, deciding that he had enough. with what little strength he had left, he picked up the letter and started to read.

[ after reading the letter lee know sent him ~]

" he seems nice.. i hope we get closer. "

jisung started to write down his reply, unconsciously smiling as he thought of the mysterious boy. the special letter boy.

dear lee knowww hyungie (?)

im not sure if you're older than me >< anywho, thank you for writing that letter! i like the smell of your letters, the wood smell is so relaxing.
my life is pretty okay! did you say felix tho? he is my best friend .. and only friend! but that's okay! :] maybe there's more than one felix in this word right ahhaha ^•3•^
i hope we get to know each other more! always write to me daily, please

yours with so so so much love :DD
hannie/ sungie 💗

jisung placed the strawberry scented letter into a pink envelope and drew hearts on it. even if his house was in a terrible condition , he aways made sure that his letters were nice! he always tries , he always tries , he always tries ....

he mailed the letter , watching it fall onto the pile of parcles.
TW // abusive actions + mean words :(( //

" 11 pm "
he silently whispered to himself. his small voice was unheard, the harsh wind sweeping his breathy statement away.

jisung trudged back to his shabby home. he twisted the door knob after much struggle, and stepped into the house, bracing himself of the harsh blows he would face.

" disappointment " his father spat , venom laced his voice as his fists came into contact with jisung's face.
jisung was too tired to fight back as usual.

his father's hands that once used to hold his, was beating onto him mercilessly, like raindrops that splattered onto the ground without a care. they were all planets in their universe but their their stars would never align.

" lee know.. " he weakly called out instinctively. luckily, his father didn't hear him and just kicked him to the ground , adding to the damage before walking back into his room, acting like nothing has happened.

jisung was too used to the pain his father would cause him. he wondered if he ever did anything wrong. his father is an alcoholic, on days when he was sober, he was still abusive . on the days he was drunk, it only results in harsher blows jisung has to endure.

our dear sweet sungie never understood why he called out lee know's name. a  stranger he has met before.

#:1)1 > hey hey luvs! thank you for reading <3 woah i never knew that writing would be so hard >< hope you have a great day! please don't read on if you are uncomfortable or triggered :3