So I know that this letter does not justify what I have done by all means but I do want to apologize. I have been hurt multiple times in the past and for some reason my fucked up brain thinks that makes it okay for me to hurt you. I never intended on hurting everyone the way that I did. I put up walls of protection and stuck by my horrible beliefs of run so they can't hurt you. In the process of me running I hurt you along the way. I hurt myself there are so many things I have done that I wish I could take back but I cant. I can't just undo the actions I did out of pain and fear of abandonment. But I also can't change my past and the trauma that it caused me. I have to learn to live with what has been done to me and what I have done to others but most importantly what I have done to myself.
I am responsible for all of my actions for everything I put you through. I am responsible for the pain I caused to myself I put that on myself. The relationships I lost due to me convincing myself that they were gonna leave me so I had to leave first before they could do me any harm all that is on me. I suffer with my mistakes don't we all. I just don't want y'all to have to suffer with the mistakes I have made. Please find it within yourselves to forgive me. I'm not asking you to forget cause lord knows I won't so I'm not expecting you to. I just want everyone to know I'm truly sorry.
Sincerely a broken girl
