Crowns and Pastries

Chapter Twenty-Four | Quiet Afternoons Are The Best

{A/N} | Another chapter in just two days! There will be talks of mental health and talking down of a panic attack in this chapter. Take care of yourself and be safe! Enjoy! |

~C~

Waking up with my boyfriend in my arms was something I'd imagined for a long time, but I never expected to be him waking me up while he was having a panic attack.

It had taken me a few seconds to gather my bearings and take in my surrounding before I registered Ethan beside me, and most of all his laboured breathing and the fact that he was shaking.

When I did, I jumped into action. I leaned up, putting my hand on his shoulder carefully, hoping I didn't scare him even more.

"Ethan?" I whispered, rubbing his shoulder softly. "Ethan, wake up."

The shaking seemed to stop but instead, he started whimpering. I noticed a layer of sweat on his forehead and his face was twisted up into an uncomfortable expression.

"Please, stop." He muttered.

His voice broke my heart. He sounded so scared.

"Ethan, baby, wake up." I tried again, shaking him once more. "You're dreaming, baby. C'mon, wake up."

His eyes fluttered open and he gasped, breathing hard.

"Easy, in and out, Ethan," I said quietly, placing his hand on my chest. "Do you feel that? Try to follow my breathing, yeah?"

His eyes flickered through the room before finally settling on mine. I could tell he was still a bit out of it. The look in his eyes was clouded and far away but he seemed to understand.

"Good, in and out," I said when I noticed his breathing getting slower. "Can you name five things you see right now?"

It took him a while to answer but eventually, he did. "You, chair, blankets, wall, bed." His voice was still shaky and quiet but he was coming back to himself.

"Four things you feel?

This time this reply came faster. "Your heartbeat, my t-shirt, blankets, your weight on my legs."

I smiled, placing my hand over his that was still on my chest. "Good, three things you can hear?"

He blinked up at me, looking more grounded and aware of his surroundings. "Your voice, birds, radio."

"Two things you can smell?"

His hand gripped mine more tightly. "Your cologne and food."

"One thing you taste?"

"Toothpaste." He replied, a small smile on his lips as he seemed to calm down. "Thank you." His voice was still a bit shaky and he seemed still a bit on edge but I understood.

"You want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, looking down. "Not yet."

"Okay." I squeezed his hand again, moving to sit more comfortably beside him.

He let himself fall against my side and let out a sigh. I could feel the tension still in his body but didn't comment on it. Instead, I moved my hand to his head to brush through his hair. I knew that helped him calm down.

After a while, the last bits of panic left his body and he let out a blissful sigh.

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips. I loved seeing him this relaxed.

I was worried about what caused him to have a panic attack and wondered how many times it had happened and there was nobody there to help him out of it. But for now, I was glad I was there and that he was safe.