Emotionally Unstable//Loki

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 “It’s about bloody time.” Loki grovelled.

“Hey! That’s rude, I was having a very important conversation.”

“Yes because proclaiming you’re a god is very important.”

“You weren’t supposed to be listening!!!” I say suddenly becoming very embarrassed of what he may of heard.

“I got bored, its okay I only heard the last few sentences and your buddy in stripes thinks you have feelings for me.” He smiled looking proud he pretty much heard the whole thing then.

“Did you also hear the part how I said he was wrong because I’ll never forget the things you’ve done?”

“Yes I heard that as well but you know what I take away from that?” I didn’t reply so he just kept going.

“That you may have said you’ll never forget but you never said that you’ll never forgive.”

I froze on the spot I couldn’t believe he paid so much attention to detail, but that’s not entirely why I froze as the I processed the words I was beginning to wonder why I hadn’t said never forgive him. Could I forgive him? For all he has done? Is this mission and being around Loki so much changing how I feel about him as a being? And so I lied to him. I lied to the one who invented lying.

“I will never forgive you.” I said softly. I saw him almost crack almost as though my words had hurt him as though he did not see that I was being dishonest in order to protect my pride and to protect how I am portrayed by my human companions, by my family.

“It’s nice to know that you really do take after your father. Now if you don’t mind me I have some business to attend to.” Loki said bitterly.

I flinched lowering my head like a coward. “Then I shall be joining you.” My voice was soft and almost as if I was about to break; he saw me as a fire demon now. Not even a human, not Asgardian but he has branded me a fire demon because I cannot seem to let something go. If only he knew, if only he knew just how much I could forgive him.

“No this business has nothing to do with you and you’re not to be there it is for the people of Asgard.”

“I am an Asgardian Loki whether you like it or not I am one of your people and you should treat me with respect.” I said strongly raising my head, I will not stand for his childish behaviour.

“You are a Fire Demon! You’re from Muspelheim do not pretend to be something you are not!” He almost yelled.

“What? Just like how you're really a frost giant!?” I growled. I really did not want to get angry with him not now.

“Retire to your chambers.” Loki said calmly looking away.

“I will not do as you ask!”

“AS YOUR KING I ASK YOU TO RETIRE TO YOUR CHAMBERS!” A few guards had come running. I could see that I really struck a nerve with him. I raised my hand to the guards signifying for them to stop.

“I shall go, but not because you have told me too but because you have hurt my feelings as well as I have hurt yours.”

“Get a message to Thor, tell him he needs to be with his brother because I cannot stand the sight of him for much longer.” The guard nodded walking away as I walked to my chambers I could feel my body tremble and a tear roll down my cheek. I walked into my room locking the door behind me and then walked into the bathroom and let my dress fall to the ground and stood there in my suit. I screamed as loudly as I could tears rushing down as I crawled into a ball on the bathroom floor but there were no flames, only extreme sadness was felt and I could feel my heart ache in pain. I hugged myself. I hugged myself to sleep with my head leaning against the wall and cried and cried and cried as the knocking got louder from my bedroom door, but I fell asleep still. I fell asleep feeling like I would never be able to wake again.

__

I woke up at the dead of the night but I was not on the cold floors of the bathroom, I had been tucked into my bed. I sat up turning the lamp next to me on and saw Loki had fallen asleep on the couch as if he tried to stay up to watch me. To take care of me.

I told Steve that Loki had been looking after me and I can’t believe that he’s doing it again. He’s making sure I’m alright. I got up and made my way to Loki. I gently caressed his cheek and I smiled happily.

“I forgive you Loki, I lied before I have to forgive you because there’s something about you, something about me. Something about us and how we’re so alike. I forgive you. Even though you never really apologised I forgive you. I don’t care about how the team will think about me because there’s something I can’t deny. I broke today the words you said really stung me but it wasn’t what you had said that really got me, it was myself. What I had said to you. I can’t believe I could do that to you, because look to be honest with you I have never felt this way before about anybody. So I forgive you and I hope that you can forgive me too.” I placed a light kiss on his forehead and I could feel my chest getting lighter. 

As I went to pull away from him, he opened his eyes and grabbed my arms gently pulling me down. His eyes searched mine for something, I’m not quite sure what and when he seemed to have found it his hand went to the back of my head and he leaned up and kissed me. My eyes slowly closed realising what was going on and I didn’t think about what I was doing I just kissed him back. I ended up on top of him with my legs on either side of his and we continuously kissed rubbing hands up and down each others body trying to feel every inch of the other as if we had to remember every physical aspect of each other.

He broke away from me to take his shirt off as though he was trying to make things easier for me. He was absolutely sexy, his lean body was full of strength. My hands traced the outline of his abs as he passionately kissed me again. I could feel myself getting hotter but I didn’t think anything of it all I wanted right now was Loki. He started to unzip my suit and pushed my sleeves off just leaving my bra on show. Soon enough he flipped us so that he was on top showing just how much he likes to have complete control. The suit fully came off and I was extremely glad I was wearing matching bra and underwear today. He started placing kisses from my jaw down my neck and leading to my breast as he nibbled at the skin and then the kisses trailed all the way down to the edge of my undies and as his finger lightly brushed over the top of them I began to smoke and go up in flames. I quickly shoved Loki off me not wanting to hurt him and ran into my bathroom and locked myself in there. There was knocking on the door.

“Kat it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

“I could’ve hurt you Loki!” I couldn’t believe that I had no control like that. I wish I could just control my abilities. I don’t want to hurt him when I’m around him, my flames had gone down but who knows what could trigger them again.

“You won’t hurt me, I trust you.” He said softly, I believed him. 

“I know you trust me, but you shouldn’t because I can’t even trust myself.” I put my dressing gown on glad it was still in the bathroom. I heard a click and the door opened.

“How did you get in here?”

“Magic.” He said it as though it was the most obvious answer in the universe and like that should’ve been the first thing to pop into my head. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in closer. He brushes a loose hair behind my ear and I lean my head on his chest cuddling in as close as possible, listening to his calming heart beat.

“Kat I want you to know that I’m not afraid of what you could do to me. If anything you should be afraid of me.”

“I’m more afraid of how I can hurt you than how you might ever hurt me. And I think that’s what makes my feelings real.”