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Different

A/N: This chapter is going to be different from all the rest because I felt like I couldn't just move onto the next chapter without it seeming too fast, you know? So this is just a short, brief little chapter that will separate things a bit. Enjoy, love's! <3

P.S. To all you girls out there who are self-conscious, afraid, and feel as your invisible.YOUR NOT! You are strong, talented, beautiful, and don't ever think otherwise. You make the world jealous, so don't hide behind makeup or clothes to make yourself feel better. And if it's a man your wanting, you need to be yourself and someday, the man of your dreams will make it to you. Be strong, girls. And be yourself!

-Blakeley

~-~

 I've always been differen't. Even before my parents died, I knew I was different, I just didn't know how. But as I grew, I learned that it wasn't necessarily a bad different, just...different.

I was smarter than all the other girls, I was more passionate, I had a big mouth and wasn't afraid to use it. I was courageous, stubborn, and had a long streak of rebellion running thick through my veins.

 I thought I knew what it was like to be an outcast because throughout my school experience before everything happened with my family, I wasn't exactly liked. I did things different than everyone else and they shunned me for it. I was adventurous, I loved climbing the schoolyards tree's and I wasn't afraid to get in trouble.

I guess people shied away from me because they were afraid of the consequences that would come along with being my friend. I didn't care, though. In some ways, I preferred being alone. You din't have a second opinion, you didn't have to worry or look out for anyone else, and you never had to worry about getting hurt.

And that's what happens when you get close to someone. You get hurt. It's not necessarily a promise, but more of a fact. It doesn't matter how you get hurt, your just going to get hurt one way or another. It could be something stupid, like a small argument or fight, or it could be something big, like them cheating and going on behind your back.

 Lord knows I know how that feels.

But school aside, that wasn't the only place I didn't fit in. I never felt right even in my own home. I felt out of place and far too...different.

For the longest time I thought being different was a curse, a bad thing. I thought that even though my family said they loved me, they might not actually mean it. So I started resenting myself, putting myself down, and locking all my emotions in.

I did this for a while and somewhere inside me, I'd hoped that someone would notice I was hurting. I was hoping that, even if it wasn't my family, someone would understand.

But they never did. No one understood.

At least, that's what I thought.

I still remember the night my mother came into my bedroom and caught me crying. She immediately ran to my aid. She talked to me that night. Like, actually talked. Not just pointless small talk, but an encouraging, mother-daughter talk. And suddenly, I felt understood.

"Hold your head up, be strong; walk with wide steps, be proud; run in the opposite direction, be differen't; be courageous, and you'd better flaunt it. Do you want to know why, Nicole? Because being different makes everyone else look average. Stand out and be proud, make the world want to stop and stare and don't ever let anyone tare you down. Your a diamond in the rough, and no one will ever understand you unless they take the time to know you. And those who don't won't ever deserve your time." That's what she told me.

Ever since that day, I took her advice - strongly. I never let anyone push me around, I never let anyone hurt me with they're words and actions. I stood strong, proud, and different. And you know why? Because I wanted to be different. I didn't want to be average, below average, or anything other than different.

But after my mother was killed, I felt like the whole world came to a stop. Than the rest of my family left and I had no idea what to do.

Stuck in an orphanage with only a sketch pad and pencils as company, I blocked out the world and focused solemnly on me and only me. Sure, I might have been being selfish, but I didn't want others company. I was fine on my own, even if inside I was slowly falling apart.

But I made it. I made it out of that old place, got a job, I bought an apartment, and I got through it. Although my past always kept on following me, I kept on keeping on and look where I'm at now?

Ok, bad example.

Alright, so maybe my life isn't perfect. Actually, I know it's not perfect, but I don't care. I've experienced what I've wanted to experience. I became the strong, determined person I always wanted to be. I survived, found love, and than left heartbroken.

...Alright, my life sucks.

But I'm just going to picture Abe as another obstacle I failed to avoid. If this is what life is, I'll except it. It isn't fair, lord no. But...It's life. And we can't change it, no matter how much we want to.

And until the day I die, I'm going to keep on going--heartbroken or not--and work through every obstacle that gets in my way.

And to all you women out there who think your too different. Who think maybe they're overweight, ugly, unimportant, and shallow. Don't you ever let anyone tell you your anything but flawless. Your strong, your different and you should be proud of who are you are and what you look like.

Your gorgeous, skinny or curvy, and you've got the heart of a champion. Your talented and don't need no special classes to improve yourself. Life isn't fair, but you can get through it. Your strong and beautiful, what more do you need? A man? Ha! Don't ever think that getting a man is the only way to true happiness and acceptance. You are who you are, and with or without a man, your perfect.

We are woman after all. And when life gets tough, we get tougher.

Got a problem with that?

Screw you.

~-~