GOOD wife

5. Good Wife

Content warning: suicide
If you are suffering and need any help then please, stay strong and find help. Don't give up.

Anna's POV

I have been waiting for the call with an apology, and an offer to revive our marriage from my husband… But, no… Nothing from him.

It is evening and no attempt of contact with me by James Carter. This is discouraging.

I am the unwanted wife. He never wanted me and after Cherish, he became abusive. But, now..... I feel humiliated. Despite the difference, I am his wife. He is mine, legally..... ethically.

The agreement asserted the demand of a SON, that was supposed to be named his Malcolm, but I gave them Cherish Carter. I invited both the families, my family, and my in-laws, to the baptism ceremony of the eldest Carter of the new generation, but only one person visited me. My father-in-law, Marvin Carter. Even my parents betrayed me.

My relationship with Marvin Carter simply manages to exist. It is alive and that's enough for me. But Mrs Emmeline Carter is different. Her grip over the family is exceptional.

Mrs Carter was very impatient is to meet my sister. 16 years ago, when we, I and my mother when arrived at their mansion for the first time to inform about Amy, but she turned the table. She didn't greet us. Her first word to us was about my sister.

A wicked, rich lady, Mrs Carter appeared. This tragedy cost her, her daughter-in-law, Willow..... Willa- James' wife and grandson, Malcolm.

My father killed them.

No one knew about James from the day of the accident. He didn't show up at the funeral or any other event. Mrs Carter realized the importance of family. That's why she was ready to negotiate with my mother and invited us for a discussion.

I was not aware of the agreement at that moment. It was unacceptable to Amy. That is why eloped... with Ryan.

All the assumptions about Mrs Carter were illusions, which was clear the moment she asked me in the agreement.

Being religious, Mother accepted my marriage with the widower, James, assuming that he would be like Father......loyal, caregiver, lover. But he is not like Father.

James is unfaithful.

James killed my 2 babies... Our babies.

James is a sinister person.

I cried.

I screamed.

I hit my head on the wall.

I was alone.

All alone.

This gigantic worthless Mansion is a peace eater. The equilibrium of my life left me from the day I arrived at this dream house of Willa.

"I hate you," I screamed at the wedding picture of James and Willa. I hate both of them.

Willow Carter died with her son, Malcolm leaving a broken James Behind in the misery.

My father didn't kill them intentionally. It was an accident; everyone acknowledged this but still... James charged him with homicide.

By this time, Sanity abandoned me. I didn't think twice... About anything or the consequences. I pulled out the frame from the wall of my home and threw it on the floor. This photograph is a painful reminder of my status as an unwanted wife in the life of James Carter.

James could kill me, like he almost killed me when he made Jamie with me. But right now, I am concentrating on his infidelity... Disloyalty.

I used the baseball bat that once belonged to Malcolm, to break the wedding picture of his parents.

"That was supposed to be my wedding photo," I bawled at a memorable photo of the dead marriage.

I cursed the couple till I forget my vocabulary.

In the end, I realized that no one would ever care for me. Not even my parents, who moved away as soon as Father was capable of walking, again...after the accident.

I was left behind....alone.

I wiped my tears and determined to do something about it.

I left a message for Norma.

I know no one will accept Jamie. They want Malcolm... A child who would appear like Malcolm. But, Jamie is Jamie, he is not Malcolm. I have to hide him from the Carter Selfish family. I don't trust the family with my precious son, but I know Cherish is safe. They treat her nice. She looks like the daughter of the family, Jessica Carter. Both aunt and niece looks same from different timeline, shares the same features.

After I was done with the e-mail to Norma, I took my final step.

I took out my sleeping pills and counted them.

First pill... For the accident.

Second pill..... For the death of Willow Carter and Malcolm Carter.

Third pill.... for the absurd agreement.

Fourth pill.... For my forceful marriage.

Fifth pill... For even thinking about the future with James.

Sixth pill.... For everything...

I swallowed everything inside the bottle. Every pill. I don't want to have a painful death, just like life. I want my expiration as gentle as possible.

The unfamiliar emotions hit me. The same fear when I signed the marriage certificate at the age of 17, knowing my father is not aware of my condition.

I know I am leaving my children behind in this world, but I had enough. Maybe I should have done this a long time ago, but I was trying to assure myself that this all is worthy.... my efforts to save my dead marriage.

Carter family will love Cherish. I have seen the way they tried to pamper her when they meet her first time two years back.

Unusually, I lived with Cherish for 13 years in a mansion and no one in the family visited us. No one was aware that I gave them a daughter. James never acknowledged her existence. But when they learnt about her, they took her from me.

The family was welcoming towards my daughter but rejected me, whenever I tried to communicate with them in any way. I was unwanted, they reminded me every moment. But I convinced myself not to give up until now.

I waited for the peace that I craved for and remembered everything that happened after Amy left. Her absence opened the door of hell for me. When my eyelids become too heavy, I was relieved with the rush of calmness in my veins. I could feel the serenity hitting me.

Is that how the end of life feels?

Peaceful.

I hope in the next life James would love me and closed my eyes for the sleep that I have been craving from past 16 years.

I assured myself for the last time imaging Peace Lilies in my garden. "I was a good wife."

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