The Color of Your Eyes

Chapter 9

Jake's eyes widen. I nearly fall onto him as I try helplessly to stop. As soon as I've regained my balance I start to panic. I've run into the very person I have been avoiding all night.

"Nat, are you okay? You seem to have been in a rush lately."

"I'm fine!" I say probably too quickly.

Jake raises his eyebrows. Clearly not convinced. "Why isn't your mom home?"

How does he know that?

"Uh-what?" I stammer. "How do you-"

"You called my mom didn't you?" Jake says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I can hear the shortness in his voice. "She said your mom's not home."

"Well can I keep things to myself, Jacob?" I ask angrily. I know it's not fair, he doesn't know what is going on. But I can't help but lash out.

"Nat, something's wrong, I know it."

"Well, I don't want to talk about it," I say, just wanting to be alone. I start walking away. The bell is about to ring- and if my internal clock is correct- in less than a minute.

"Natalie!" Jake calls but I sprint away before I say anything horrible to him.

The bell rings and I run faster. And I make it to Homeroom and the whole class turns to look at me. I hate it when this happens. I don't enjoy being the center of attention, especially during class. I'm not necessarily late but why are they looking at me?

I sit down at my seat at the back pretending not to notice and then Karlee, a small, light-haired girl who sits next to me, whispers, "Your eyes are shaking."

Of course.

"That explains it," I mutter.

I look down at my hands. As if it would make my classmates go away. But really, I don't care. I don't care about anything at this point. Eventually Mrs. Brown calls attention and no one's eyes are on me anymore.

As I move from class to class I don't talk to anyone. Usually, I'm not super talkative, but I'll greet people and raise my hand, but not today. I'm so emotionally drained that I now feel numb.

I'm doing fine and staying silent until lunch when the same girl that had grabbed my arm yesterday walks up to my empty table.

"So about yesterday," she starts, "you said that you would introduce me to Jake."

I have no will to argue. But something in the back of my brain caught fire. "I did not say that."

"Well, something like that." She says waving a dismissive hand.

"Well I'm not doing that whether I said so or not," I say crossing my arms.

"But-"

"Go talk to him, I don't care!" I nearly shout. I don't have time for this. "I don't even know your name."

"Violet." She says shortly. "I've known you since 6th grade! We were in Mr. Ryan's class."

I can say I can remember her face but I never took notice of anything else about her.

"Oh well good for you, Jake loves colors," I tell her.

Violet rolls her eyes and turns away. And I could not be more relieved. Sadly I only get a few more minutes of peace.

Another girl walks right up to my table and sits down across from me. I narrow my eyes at her. I very much recognize this girl.

"How's your family?" Azure asks.

I look down at the pathetic lunch I made for myself this morning. There isn't very much to report. I don't know anything about what's going on in the Hospital. But maybe Azure does.

"We are barely surviving if I'm being honest." I reply, "Do you know about what Lyla has?"

Azure shakes her head. "My mom is just afternoon sifts, and she didn't say much when I saw her yesterday."

"Do you know when I can see her?" 

"They do accept visitors, but for a short time. I'm almost certain you can see her during the weekend."

I cover my face with my hands. "All I want is to know what is wrong with her and will she be okay?" I say into my hands.

"Sadly those are the questions I can't answer." Azure really does look sorry, but I can't help but feel sick. 

Azure looks down at my half pack of crackers and bag of carrots pitifully. Then she reaches into her bag and pulls out a double fudge brownie. For a moment I think she is going to taunt me with it. But she reaches over the table and hands it to me. "You must have been in a rush this morning." She smiles. 

I stare at her. Who in the world would ever give up a double fudge brownie? "Uhh, thanks but I need my protein." I tease. I'm starting to feel like myself again. 

"Well pack better next time," Azure responds with a grin.

As soon as I finish the brownie I check my watch. Lunch ends in less than two minutes! I grab my bag, thank Azure again, and sprint to my next class. But I have forgotten about something. Jake and I share the same Bio class. I appear in class, and sitting at my lab table is Jake. We make eye contact and I can tell I have a very worried expression on my face. 

I tell myself I've avoided him for long enough.

I plop down right next to him, Jake gives me a look as if to ask "you okay?" 

I shrug, and I pull out my notebook. Mr. Zufelt calls attention to class and then I focus so hard that I'm no longer paying attention. I just want to avoid eye contact with Jake. But about halfway through the class, a note appears in front of me. It read: you gonna tell me what's going on? Instantly, I know it's from Jake. I write on the back: Ok after school. Then pass it back to him.

When the class ends I sprint out the door to avoid being asked now.

I continue through the rest of the day, my quiet manner. Not speaking, just keeping my head low. And when the final bell rings I know what's coming. I drag myself to the front of campus and wait there. Knowing I have to keep my word to Jake. Today I make sure I have my glasses on so I don't get another migraine. Kids rush by chatting with one another so happily, I wish I could forget my worries like that. But right now, I'm drowning in worry. 

Too soon Jake finds me and doesn't hesitate.

"What's happening.?"

I take a deep breath and then say, "Lyla's in the hospital."

Jake's eyes widen. "What? Why?"

I gesture for us to start walking and then I explain everything that had happened yesterday and why I had avoided him. Jake didn't interrupt once. He just listened with his brow furrowed. When I was done I looked at him expectantly to see what his response will be. He just looks at me and whispers. "I'm so sorry Natalie." many emotions flashed across his face as he continued, "I was awful to you, I'm sorry, that was selfish I-"

I hold up a hand to stop him. "It's alright," I assure him. "I shouldn't have avoided you like that either. So we're both in the wrong."

At that moment my phone buzzes. Curiously, I check to see it's from my mom. As I open up my messages I read the two sentences that will probably change my life forever.

--Lyla's test just came through a few minutes ago--

--She tested positive with Cancer--