The first half of the day was pretty normal. Miss Weaver continued a lesson on government and only stopped once for a story.
"The legislative branch of the government is important. Probably the most important, if you ask me. As it turns out, a former student of mine is actually a state senator, and since I was his favorite teacher, I can ask him for favors. I don't want to brag, but he's gotten me out of at least twenty parking tickets," she said with a proud laugh.
I always wondered how many parking tickets you could get before they stopped letting you park. I didn't know how to drive yet, but of all the things you had to do, parking seemed the easiest.
I had been too preoccupied to eat breakfast, so by lunchtime I was starving. Soy and I sat together in the lunchroom everyday, but weren't picky about which table we used. The lunchroom was long and narrow with a dozen brightly colored tables. Soy and I sat down at the far end of a skinny blue table, as close to the corner as you could get. There were at least ten seats between us and any of our classmates, which was good because Soy's voice was known for being loud. So loud that after our third grade spelling bee it was agreed, for everyone's sake, that Soy would never be allowed to speak into a microphone again.
"How are we going to find the frog?" he asked.
"Why are you asking me? I've never looked for a talking frog before," I said.
"Well, I've been thinking. Frogs like flies, right?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied as I started pulling my lunch out of my bag.
"And they like ponds?" Soy added.
"Yes," I said again.
"Well, that's something," he said.
"That's not a plan though, Soy," I replied.
"The rest is on you! I spent all morning on that," Soy shrieked.
When I reached inside my bag again, I stopped trying to think of a plan.
My mom didn't really know how to pack a good lunch. Every once in awhile, she made one so bad that it was completely un-eatable and un-tradable. Still, she had never given me anything slimy. Never anything wet. And definitely never, ever anything that moved. There was no doubt in mind that my hand was on a frog.
It had to be her. It was the only thing that made sense. Then I reminded myself that none of this truly made sense. I tried not to panic, but knew that I had to warn Soy from across the table. I had to find a way to be discrete. The frog sat still, breathing in and out from inside my hand.
"Sheez een my beg," I said through clenched teeth.
"What did you say?" Soy asked.
"I said, sheeez eeeenn my beg," I repeated.
"Huh, who's seen your pig?" he said.
"No, sheeeez eeeeeen myyyy begggg," I said slowly.
"Wait, when did you even get a pig?" Soy asked with his arms crossed, "You'd better let me ride it..."
Soy was convinced that you could ride any animal larger than a cat. Also, sometimes cats. My mom had made it clear that Soy was the reason we could never own any pets.
"Soy," I said, unclenching my teeth, "put your hand in my bag."
As he did, his facial expression changed.
"Ohhh," he exclaimed, "it's in your bag!"
The frog must have understood what was going on because she was still waiting patiently.
"Let's bring it out and ask it some questions," Soy said.
The bag moved a little bit.
"She, I mean! Let's bring her out!" he said too loudly.
"Shh, we don't want anyone to hear," I whispered, trying to think of what to do next.
Soy was eating make-your-own soft tacos that he'd bought from the cafeteria. They were one of his favorite lunches. He still had the ingredients for two more tacos, with the tortillas waiting on the side. I had an idea, but he wasn't going to be happy with it.
