It would be hard to imagine a better principal than Principal Lance. He had grey hair down to his shoulders, even though he was bald in the front. He was the oldest person at Stagwood, but he didn't act like it. I had never heard anyone say a bad word about him, and I wouldn't have either. Every year, on my birthday, he called me into his office and gave me a candy bar. I know he did the same for Soy (who usually finished his before he got back to the class and showed up with chocolate all over his face) and probably everyone else in my class. Still, he had a way of making me feel like I was more than some kid.
Principal Lance's office was small and crowded with stuff, but felt friendly. He had stacks and stacks of dusty books that looked like they were hundreds of years old. I heard that a girl once sneezed on one of them by accident, and it blew away in pieces. The way the story goes, Principal Lance laughed so hard that he forgot why he had sent for her. But, as Soy and I walked into his office, it seemed less friendly than usual. Miss Weaver gave a small, awkward bow and left us. As it turned out, Principal Lance wasn't alone. What I saw first in the chair next to us was a yellowish-gold bowtie, and then the large grin of Mr. Ream. My heart sank.
"Have a seat, kids," said Principal Lance. "You've done nothing wrong, but Mr. Ream has insisted that he speak with you. And I insisted on being present. And so, with all this insisting going on, here we are!"
I always enjoyed the way that Principal Lance explained things.
I had expected Ream to speak to me, but he turned to Soy instead.
"I don't believe we've met. Hello, Soy. My name is Mr. Ream," he said.
"Hello, my name is Soy," said Soy.
"Yes... as I said, hello, Soy," said Ream, already losing patience.
Soy had a knack for making people lose their patience faster than anyone I'd ever met. My dad called it "impressive". My mom preferred not to talk about it.
"Hello," said Soy a second time.
"Soy, do you know why I'm here?" asked Ream.
"No. Do you know why I'm here?" Soy asked back.
Ream was about to lose his cool. He turned to Principal Lance.
"If you would let me speak with them alone, we could be done with this much faster," Ream said.
"As I've told you, if you'd like to speak with my students, you'll do it with me present," said Principal Lance.
"I'm here as a representative of the school board," Ream said sternly.
"And I am here as caretaker to these children. Unless you are their parent or guardian, you may not speak to them without me present," Principal Lance said even more sternly.
Soy's face was already covered in chocolate from a small bowl that Principal Lance had left unguarded. Ream looked over at Soy, shuddering at the thought of being his parent or guardian.
"This will not be brought up in front of the children again," finished Principal Lance.
"Very well," resigned Ream. "Soy, I need to know if you've noticed anything unusual in the past couple of days."
The conversation was starting just like mine had, and that got me worried. The longer Ream questioned Soy or me, the more chances we would have to slip up again, even with Principal Lance there. I could still feel Deli inside my shirt, and I didn't want to think about what would happen if Ream got his hands on her. Or, if we believed Deli, his claws.
"Sir, may I go to the bathroom?" I blurted out.
"Of course," said Principal Lance.
Ream gave the slightest hint of a smile. He relished the idea of talking to Soy without me around.
"Um, also, I'm not allowed to go without my bathroom pal," I said.
"Pardon?" said Principal Lance.
"Miss Weaver told us that we have to go with a bathroom pal if we want to use the bathroom. I could get in a lot of trouble if she finds out that I went alone."
