To Love You would be a Crime (L x Reader)

Torn Pages

(Y/N) POV:
It felt like a hazy dream, I couldn't really comprehend anything that was happening. I sat in between Light and Misa as they explained everything. The book, the shinigamis, their plans, their dreams for a new world, without crime. It sounded... well it sounded perfect; what anyone would want in a world.
"So what do you think, (Y/N)?" Misa asked with a beaming smile.
"What do I think of what? The plan? It's... very thought out. But what if the people you've disposed of, what if they've been wrongfully convicted?" I questioned, still not bothering to look up at either of them.
Light straightened up before giving a heavy sigh. He always sounded like an aggravated school teacher, even when we were kids he acted like he was better than everyone else.
"Even if that's true, each person has done something in their life to deserve death. It's for a worthy cause, some innocent people may have to die so we can purify this earth."
His words sounded so cruel and unforgiving.
"So what do you need me for then?" I didn't understand why they even wanted to bring me into this in the first place, simply for just having a death note in my possession.
"Misa told me that you have a connection with L, somehow you managed to get an in on the investigation." Light said with a small smile forming on his lips.
"L is the only person that stands in our way of a truly perfect world." Misa said as she put her hand on my shoulder.
I felt a lump in my throat, my palms were starting to get sweaty.
"You want me..?"
"To learn more about him, find his real name, put an end to this foolish game he calls justice." Light interrupted me.
"You have a couple days to gather yourself... but just remember, if you don't... you're just as disposable to us."

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I stumbled my way back to my room, the weight of it all slowing my steps. I don't want to go through with this, I don't want to "help" them in their crusade for perfectionism. Although, if I don't, they'll kill me and only prolonge the investigation... and L will still die regardless.
How did I get mixed up in all this? Why did I pick up that stupid book? Why did my dad have to pick up this case?
"Y/N?" L's voice cooed from the doorway.
I couldn't even look at him, keeping my face towards the mirror on my wall.
L walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face into my neck.
"You didn't seem well when you came home, I wanted to make sure you were okay." He whispered as he swayed with me.
I couldn't do this... I couldn't, I couldn't continue to string him along like this. I was another Kira, just like Misa and Light, I had taken a life... I had to help cleanse and purify this world for the new coming of the gods... for my own sanity.

"Ryuzaki... I... we can't keep doing this." I said before pushing away from him.
"This isn't smart for the investigation. I'm a conflict of interest, with my father working the case. I know you keep me around because I'm close with Misa... I think it's best, it's best If we stop this now... before one of us gets hurt." I said as I wiped the tears dripping down my face.
"Our lifestyles are too different, Ryu... besides, who knows how far this would've gone anyways. I tour the world and you... you solve the most bizarre cases of the world... I'm sorry." I said as I wiped my eyes for the final time.

"I appreciate you being honest with me Ms (L/N)... if you believe that that is what is best for the investigation, I respect your decision. But I would like to keep you on the team. As someone who is closest to Misa Amane, you would be a great asset to us in finding and catching Kira." L said with poise and dignity.
"Have a good evening." He said calmly before leaving my room.
I had no words myself. He seemed so... okay with everything, a little too okay about it.
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L's POV:
She was hiding something. I know that those are not her true feelings about our relationship. She's trying to protect someone or protect herself. Here nor there, I'd rather have her as an asset than my enemy, even if I cannot have her as my lover.
"Watari, I would like you to wire the (L/N) household, including their cars as well. The sooner you can do it, the better." I said to him before settling myself down into my chair.

"Right away sir." Watari complied before making his way out the door.
I couldn't get my feelings caught into this at all, keep them repressed. The thought of not holding her, touching her, kissing her soft, luscious lips was not going to haunt me like some ghost.
I looked up to the monitors, my eyes scanning until I got to her room. She sat on her bed with her knees to her chin, completely dazed. Something must have happened while she was at Misa's. That was the only explanation as to why she was so distraught... did Misa confess to her? Did she tell her that she was the second Kira? Was (Y/N) only act out due to her fear of them?
I had to get her into an investigation room as soon as possible.
"What are you not telling me? What exactly is there to be afraid of?" I murmured to myself, reaching over for another slice of cake.
"Don't tell me you're fighting for the other side now... are you... are you Kira, Y/N?"

*i Hope you all enjoyed this short chapter! There's more to come soon! If you have any ideas for what you'd like to happen next, comment and give me suggestions!!*