The Ten Years that I Loved You the Most ✔️

Ai Ziyu

When I first liked someone, he would not notice it, but his eyes eventually turned in his direction no matter where he looked.

    Ai Tzuyu was sympathetic to He Zhishu at the beginning, and there was no one close to him when he got the disease; then he felt distressed, watching him quietly ask about his condition in a soft voice, watching him wearing a heavy down jacket and being silent. While waiting at the office door, when it was painful to see him undergoing a bone marrow puncture: later I liked it, watching him holding a flower pot bewildered and cautious, watching him wearing a heavy down jacket showing a half of his face. I knew it was wrong, but I still got stuck bit by bit, and I didn't even have time to struggle.

    Later, every time Ai Tzuyu thinks of He Zhishu, he first thinks of his eyes. They are big and round, with more black pupils and less white eyes. They are wet and covered with a layer of tear film. They are gentle and affectionate when they see people. Then I thought of He Zhishu's voice, light and slow, if a sentence is longer, it will slowly become a soft southern tone.

    When I first knew He Zhishu and Jiang Wenxu, Ai Ziyu was not without disappointment. He was angry that He Zhishu shouldn't abuse himself like this, and to the point where he didn't see the man taking care of him sincerely. He also hated Jiang Wenxu, who had abducted such a gentle and clean person, and didn't know how to restrain his heart outside. But at that time it was destined to have nothing to do with Ai Ziyu, and he had no standpoint to blend in. He even had to persuade He Zhishu to treat the disease well, and even said a word of concern in the tone of a doctor.

    The only thing Ai Tzuyu can do is to help He Zhishu find the bone marrow with all the relationships he can trust. He Zhishu doesn't care about his body, but Ai Tzuyu can't help but care for him. He Zhishu drags Ai every day. Tzuyu couldn't restrain a doctor's ability to calculate how long He Zhishu could last. He really feels distressed. Every time he looks pale when he sees He Zhishu doing chemotherapy, he can't help but rush over and hug him into his arms. He wants to take good care of him and will never let him alone. People bear such a heavy burden.

    Later, Ai Ziyu's uncontrollable kiss broke the delicate balance between them. He did not regret it. It was only in such a desperate moment that Ai Ziyu fully understood how deep his feelings had become.

    So I couldn't let go, blocking the future and the future and taking him away. Even if you know that you are destined to end in pain, you can't extricate yourself from the bitter but mixed with joy and happiness.

    Every step they took was not easy. Ai Tzuyu knows that there are people in He Zhishu's heart, the kind that can't be forgotten even if he wants to. Fourteen years of love-hate entanglement, what is engraved in the flesh and blood is not only love. Ai Tzuyu is not a saint who loves so much that he doesn’t care about these things, but he is reluctant to get out and let He Zhishu struggle alone. He thinks that if one person’s pain is suffered by two people, what will fall on He Zhishu is more or less. Can't it be reduced?

    In fact, Ai Tzuyu never felt how hard he had done for He Zhishu, and he never thought of giving it back, but occasionally thought that it would be great if He Zhishu could really like him.

    Ai Ziyu gradually realized that He Zhishu's heart was actually more delicate and soft than he thought. He Zhishu is also learning to accept himself very hard, opening a small gap in his heart.

    He Zhishu has never verbally reached a "together" promise with Ai Ziyu, nor has he ever said love and sincerity once. But I don't know why Ai Ziyu has always been so determined, even for a moment, He Zhishu had him in his heart.