𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊║𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲

𝐈'𝐦 𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲

Hermione ignored the blue hair and instead rushed over to put her arms around me. It took everything in me to not start sobbing right then and there in her arms. But Carrie was next, then the others followed suit until I was in the middle of a group hug. That's when I started crying.

None of them asked questions and let my body shake as I sobbed, taking deep breaths between my cries. The tears ran down my cheeks and onto Hermione's pajama shirt. I was so insanely lucky to have them all. To have them hold and comfort me without knowing the real reason. To just be there for me like I'd be there for them.

The words Fred had spoken only moments earlier haunted my memory, repeated only making me cry harder. His face as he said it was burned in the back of my eyes- I could still see it. The disappointment. The quiet disappointment that I didn't know the reason to.

I soon felt disappointment as well when Hermione pulled away from the hug, the others backing up though placing a comforting hand on some spot on my body, observing the trails of salty tears.

"What happened, love?" The sincerity and sweetness of her tone could have fooled me if I didn't look at her face. She looked stern and fierce- protective, even. Protective for me.

My lips quivered. Carrie brought up a soft hand and wiped away a tear with her thumb, giving me a small, sad smile.

"Fred..." I didn't want to say it.

"Yes?" Hermione's voice was quiet but the look in her eyes was fierce. I love her, truly.

I debated whether I should spill everything, and decided they all deserved to know. So I did. I recalled everything that happened that night- except for telling them that I loved Fred. I wanted to savor the feeling of having the knowledge all to myself, no matter if it broke my heart a little.

The girls shared a look between one another, then back at me.

"I think he really likes you," Lavender said in a quiet voice- so quiet I barely heard. She looked almost nervous at my reaction as she picked at her nails.

I looked at her in disbelief, my eyes burning.

"No.." I shook my head slowly, my arms were still wrapped around my legs as I laid my chin on my knee.

There was a short silence as they watched me.

"He does," It was a new voice. Sienna.

I looked at her, my eyes softened. Her face showed so much certainty, her green eyes twinkled as she looked at me with a smile. Oh, how bad I wanted to believe her. How much I actually was willing to believe her.

"I don't want him to like me..." My voice trailed off and I felt their eyes on me. Confusion was all I felt around me.

"Don't you want him to be, I don't know.. You're boyfriend, or something like that?" Pavarti asked, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. Her black hair glistened in the light from the lamp, it was in a long, low ponytail.

I closed my eyes. Shut them tight- thinking of what I wanted. What did I want? Did I want him to be mine? My boyfriend, perhaps?

No, saying I wanted him to be my boyfriend sounded silly. The titles were silly to me- maybe because it seemed to be a way of owning someone, but maybe I'd allow Fred to call me his. But for now all I wanted was to be able to kiss him and for it to be normal- casual.

"I want him to love me," I said quietly, my voice felt smaller than a whisper. "I want his love more than a title. I want him.... I want him to love me like I love him- maybe more."

My friends didn't seem shocked. No, they seemed unphased by what I had just confessed- that I admitted loving Fred. But Sienna... She was smiling to herself more than to me- like something fell into place, something right. Her eyes told me the same.