Actually, I Haven't Been Doing Well Lately

1

Chan woke up with a jolt. He almost forgot to do a "Chan's Room" for stay. Luckily it was only 9:53 pm, so he had enough time to talk and catch up a little with stay before going to bed. He excitedly set up the camera, pressed 'start live', and quickly got out of the frame. The intro song started to play while thousands of people joined to see the live. He popped one hand in the frame, then his face, and finally his whole body. 

"Hello stay! How ya guys doin! Did you guys eat today?" Chan said sweetly.

He got some replies and some questions asking him if he ate as well, which he responded with a quick "I had some dinner earlier," which wasn't true. He didn't have enough time to consume anything, but that's ok. 

Everything was going smoothly. Chan played some songs, talked about the members, Berry, and may or may have not spoiled a little clip of their comeback. Until a particular comment caught his eye. "Why don't you just kill yourself, stray kids would be better without you,"

His smile faded a little, but it was still there. Stay noticed the comment and spammed the comments as quick as they could so he didn't have to see it; but it was too late. "Heh, that's- that's really funny. Haha," He decided that was enough "Chan's Room" for that night. Faking a yawn he ended the vlive with his signature 'goodbye hug'.  He didn't notice the tears that started to form in his eyes. "Would Stray Kids really be better without me? Am I just in the way again?" He tried to shake the feeling of dread off, but it just wouldn't leave. The curiosity lingered, all the possibilities, what if he got eliminated permanently from the debut trials. No Chan. They need you. He thought. "Might as well try to get some sleep tonight,"

----- le time skip to the next morning -----

As Chan opened his eyes, he saw three faces hovering above him with concern painted on their face. Oh no, did they watch my live last night? Did they see the comment? Chan wondered, but he decided to just come up with an explanation if it pops up - which, thankfully, didn't. 

The three people checking on him were Minho, Han, and Changbin. 

"Channie," Han started. "Why were you sleeping on the couch?"

Chan was about to come up with an excuse, when they heard Felix yell from the kitchen. "NO SEUNGMIN! THATS TOO FULL! IT WON'T FIT-" As Chan turned a bright red, he quickly ran to the kitchen to see what was happening. Apparently, Seunglix were making smoothies for everyone, but Seungmin filled the blender jar with too much milk. When he went to blend it the milk spilled all over the counter, making a slightly sticky mess. Meanwhile Han, Changbin, and Minho were staring at each other, also slightly flustered, yet concern still lingered in their eyes for their leader. He would never sleep on the couch, unless he was on the couch to begin with and fell asleep while working or watching a movie. There was a different reason for this though, because his laptop wasn't near and the tv wasn't streaming another movie.

Still they went to the kitchen, also wanting to see if the mess was really that bad. It wasn't really. Hyunjin, and Jeongin were also in the kitchen helping with the spill. More like Hyunjin clinging onto Felix while the rest clean. "Ok I think we shouldn't have Seungmin and Felix in the kitchen at the same time, next thing you know they burn the apartment," said Minho. He glanced over to see Chan lost in his thoughts. He hugged him from behind (which rarely happens) and asked if everything was ok. 

"I'm fine," Chan replied. "Just...zoned out a little is all," Minho looked a bit skeptical, but let it slide, for now. They decided to have pancakes for brunch before they leave to shoot an interview. The interview was fun. They got to promote as well as answer questions for stay and reveal or prove some hidden talents. On the way back, they had lunch at a nearby local restaurant. When they got back to the dorms everyone decided to watch a movie before they continue with their schedules. Chan, on the other hand, had different plans. Yes, he was going to work in the studio, he had this beat stuck in his head and he feels like he should compose something before it leaves. 

Three hours into making beats (he got carried away), Chan got up and stretched real good. He got out his phone, absent mindedly scrolling through the comments of his recent instagram post. A lot of the comments were sweet, saying he looked like a god and that they finally got some pics of Chan after a while.  As he was looking through the comments, he got an email notification on his laptop.

It was a death threat. Saying if he doesn't end his life, he will be murdered. Chan froze. What should he do? He couldn't tell the members; he couldn't burden them with his problems.