han jisung
seoul, korea
i moved.
did you notice?
i wonder if you still come by every morning, standing on my doorstep.
i suppose you don't.
or rather, i hope you don't.
i don't want to imagine it.
for my heart breaks.
and we are so young
and we were in love,
and we are fools.
and yet,
you love(d) me
and i still love you.
i remember,
when we sat down under the tree in the school yard, and i said:
"i like someone."
"cool. who?"
"it's a guy."
"nice. who?"
and i rolled my eyes fondly.
if only you knew.
"can't tell you."
"why?~ you don't trust me? your hyung?"
you pouted and whined.
and i shook my head as i laughed fondly.
if only you knew.
"it's not that. besides, nothing can happen. he doesn't like me back."
"he's a fool not to."
and i remember,
you had asked.
"is yearning not painful, han-ah? you look more melancholic every time i see you."
if only you had known.
yearning.
pining.
wanting.
longing.
loving
they are all similar.
all painful, with such desire.
but i didn't mind,
because i was already a goner when i met you.
i didn't mind yearning
if it was for you
but you're right, for the 150th time
it hurts
it hurts, it hurts
it hurts, it hurts, it hurts
and i ache everyday to kiss you again
to touch you again,
to love you again
i love you so much it pains me,
and you are my home.
and i miss home.
but i left
and i am gone
and you've already closed the door.
and maybe, one day, we'll meet again.
fall in love, again.
under another tree
under another lamp post
under the same stars
under the same sky
and then, i will love you more than i have before.
(END)
