Heaven Is You

|24|

Talia Herera

The car ride back to my apartment was nerve wrecking in the best way imaginable. My mind was racing a million miles an hour in a trillion different directions. Gigantic mess, truly!

My stomach vibrated constantly with guaranteed butterflies, swarming the inside of my guts like S.W.A.T team would a drug dealer's house. I know it's weird and doesn't make much sense but that's the thing about feelings and nerves and excitement; they should flow naturally, it wouldn't make sense if they did.

I was locked in my own enclosed shell, mind running haphazardly trying to catch up on everything's that has happened in the short lived time of tonight, that I was totally caught off guard when Oscar made the familiar turn to the apartment I shared with my best friend.

We climb down the car in utter silence, guessing both of us needed time to digest this new situation. To process things correctly in our systems before proceeding forward.

My hands shake as I giggly pull out the keys from my jeans pocket, opening the door after the third attempt. I haven't brought any guy into the apartment, except for Tim. He was my boyfriend at the time; obviously he'd have to have been at my apartment.

Thinking back now, I can't remember a time where he came to simply hang out. If there wasn't physical pleasure for him at some point, he didn't even consider staying here.

That was part of the reason why my mind came up all jumbled, it feels like a deja vu, I open the door, Tim slams me a little harshly into the door or wall or any hard surface he finds. Then, it would all be a blur as we end up tangled in the bedroom.

Back when we were together, it was all about him. Pleasing him was foremost priority, and when it was my turn to feel mutual, he'd always be too tired and sleepy to even follow through.

I literally had a boyfriend who couldn't do the one job he was required to do.

We enter and before the darkness decides to eat us whole, I turn the light switch on, lighting the entire place. I turn to Oscar and he must've seen the wheels turning in my head, or the terror stricken face for he pulled me into his chest, engulfing me whole and securing his arms around me.

I could actually hear the thump of his heart, how fast and unsteady it was beating and I wondered if I really had that effect on him.

"I know your mind must be working overtime, but don't worry. Nothing that may be uncomfortable to you will happen. I'm just here to hang out and if you're not feeling good or up-to that, it's fine. I could just leave and we can hang out later. Whatever makes you comfortable, ok?" He assures me in the sweetest tone and I nod, not understanding what guardian angel decided to gift me this amazingly unmatched person.

"It's fine, it's just my mind is all over the place. I don't want to do something that might upset you or make you want to leave, I guess I'm just nervous" I confess honestly while biting in my cheek from the inside, anticipating his reaction.

"I'm not leaving. Besides, nothing you can say or do will make me not want to stay. I need you to be honest with me throughout this whole relationship. I want you to speak your mind confidently, stand by your opinions vocally, and if something's not right or is bothering you, I need you to tell me so we can work through them, ok?" He asks gently, his tone a light caress of summer breeze on a humid July night.

His hand rests on my cheek, tracing the skin lovingly while his eyes bore into mine. I nod my head while a smile finds its way onto my lips "Ok, I promise".

"Good. Now what do you want to do? Maybe watch a movie?" He asks.

"A movie sounds great" I praise, something casual but fun, sounds extremely suitable for now.

"Maybe some cuddling, are you comfortable with that?" He asks as calmly as possible, his tone promising he wouldn't lash out if by any chance my answer was 'no'.

"Mmm" I respond, my cheeks getting a little flustered at the thought until he grabs my hand and starts dragging us back in the direction of my bedroom.

We enter the room, fortunately I tidied it up before leaving so it looked decent and presentable, we take off our shoes then proceed into the medium sized room.

First thing he does is head to the t.v slung across from the bed, turns it on then connects it to my laptop while demanding the password for my Netflix account. After I give it to him, we choose a random movie and get settled on the bed.

At first, there's this huge gap between our bodies, almost as if we're afraid of touching the other. I laid there stiffly not knowing what to do with myself until I gave up and sunk into the bed beneath me.

It was probably twenty minutes into the movie when I felt his body shifting, shuffling closer to mine without touching me. He was giving me space to make the first move. To decide if I wanted to proceed further or not.

Feeling slightly empowered and encouraged, I leaned in closer until my head was laying on his chest, my hand came up to caress the tight muscles on his chest. He seems satisfied with that, bringing his arm around me, kissing the top of my head, then pulling me closer to his chest with his hand that pulled my elastic band off my hair slowly, absentmindedly playing with my hair.

The relaxation it provided was far too immense, I sighed in contentment and drifted to sleep gradually, feeling at peace and at home for once.

•••

A/n:
This chapter kind of flowed easily.
Also, it's one of my favorites I've ever written!;)