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the hand that once held my phone was gripping onto my chest. i wanted the pain to radiate out of my fractured heart.
i know that she's crying.
i know that she's hurting.
and i know damn well that she's not doing well.
i bit my lip and looked at the company infront of me. i stared at the lockscreen of my phone, and anger suddenly grew.
anger took control of my heart and mind.
that anger made me throw my phone away from my sight.
how could i stare at her picture when i know that she's not coming back?
"how can you let this happen to her? how could you fucking treat her like this?! how?!" i shouted as my anger clashed with my sadness.
i could feel my own voice echoing horridly in my ears. my body continued to trembled in agony as i fell down on my knees.
seeing my broken phone with soojin as my lockscreen on it broke me even more.
why cube?
why did you easily kicked her out like that?
i continued to cry but froze when someone suddenly held me.
"it's okay to cry when you're angry. i do that earlier. you can too." i heard her say.
and i did.
even though her voice was too familiar,
and instead of looking back to see her face,
i cried.
i cried so hard. i allowed my pain to finally be presented for the world, and for her to witness.
"how can you comfort me?" my throat ached with the way my sobs forced it's way out. my body trembled in her arms.
this pain was uncontrollable and it only grew by the sound of her voice echoing in my ears.
"because i know you're also hurting."
i used to feel giddy with just the mere familiar sound of that voice.
but now,
all i felt was the word that never left my heart,
pain.
i composed myself, wiping away the stray tears as i turned around to face that person.
but instead of thanking that person,
i gasp and broke down in tears again.
with a sad smile on her face, i stood up and throw myself at her. leaping and locking my arms around her waist, hugging her tightly.
and suddenly it rained. but i didn't care.
at this moment, i didn't care at all.
i know that if anyone saw me with her like that, infront of this trash company, crying under the rain in the middle of the night, it would have been a top news and my face would probably over every television with her.
but right now, i couldn't care nor a give a fuck about that.
"you're so selfless, do you know that?" i told her as i pulled away to look at those beautiful sad eyes.
"how could you comfort me when you're the one who needed it the most, unnie?"
her hands were shaky as she wiped the tears on her face. "because i'm not the only one who's hurting and being affected because of this."
"why.. why did you.." i started. but a sob held my words back down at my throat.
she closed her eyes for a moment. her voice shaky as she replied, "i had no choice."
her hands starts to tremble as she met my gaze. "that's why i'm sorry."
