It's a frighteningly long two weeks that I'm unable to get close to Seras. I no longer wait for her at the coffee shop and I distance myself from her even further than I used to. I notice her look at the table I usually sit at in front of the coffee shop, and I also notice her frown every day that I'm not there. She's not sad that I'm gone, but she is curious about where I've run off to. Ever since our odd encounter in her car she has been waiting for me to show up to tell her off or try to get her fired. I've done neither.
To prevent Seras from getting that ugly feeling of being watched I only allow myself around her twice in a twenty four hour period. Once in the morning to see that she's greeted the morning okay and again when she leaves work to go home. I've followed her home a few times, to make sure there isn't a scary stalker waiting for her, but I don't find anything dangerous to her well being. I know that Seras can protect herself but I want to be around just in case.
It's during week three that I allow myself to see Seras more than twice a day. The bags under her eyes have gotten deeper, darker, and it makes me upset. I feel the need to watch her more closely since I'm obviously missing something. Whatever it is, I'm going to find it and crush it.
My head buzzes with thoughts of violence as I lounge on the roof of the building across from the department. I've been spending the last few days relaxing here to keep an eye on Seras's workplace while she's inside. It's getting late, and today's one of the days that I've scheduled to follow Seras home. It seems necessary to plan things like this.
I scratch my bare neck and squish ants with my finger while I wait. Seras's schedule isn't set and sometimes she leaves for home later than other days. Today is one of those later days. So, sighing, I blow my hair out of my face and wait. My hair smells like generic shampoo and it tickles my nose. I've showered like I always do when I plan to follow Seras home. I know nothing will happen between us but I like to be prepared. It would embarrass me to no end if Seras found me sneaking around smelling like old garbage and looking like a dirt monster.
My nerves start itching when the sky gets too dark and still Seras hasn't emerged from her workplace. I scoot to the edge of the roof and look down where Seras usually parks her car, and I find the vehicle still there, appearing dead and lonely. A frown takes over my face and I'm tempted to charge the department to make sure that everything is okay in there.
My legs are already over the side of the building and I'm ready to jump by the time Seras emerges from the department, her face tired and her gait slow. I still, not wanting to be noticed, and eyeball Seras and her partner, who's standing with her.
"Thanks, Mason," I catch Seras say.
Her partner, Mason, smiles and scratches the back of his head. "No problem. You owe me one, though. See ya." He pulls his keys out of his pocket and gives Seras a friendly wave.
Seras remains where she is, and she watches Mason drive off, waving at him as he rolls by. When he's long gone, she sags and trudges to her car. I run down to the ground floor to catch her before she dries off, but when I get there she hasn't even started the car yet. Confused, I watch her lean back in her seat and just sit there, her eyes shut and her hands gripping the steering wheel. She doesn't want to go home, she's too scared to.
A helpless whine burbles out of my throat and I slink into the shadows just in case anyone heard me. I can't help but feel like a failure. Seras is slowly loosing her nerve and I've done nothing to help. It hurts.
After a good ten minutes Seras finally starts her car and slowly drifts into the street. There's more than average traffic tonight and I'm allowed to walk and still keep up with Seras's vehicle. It's nice to go slow, but I'm still worried for Seras's wellbeing.
