𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗜 ::𝗧𝗢𝗞𝗬𝗢 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗧

you don't know :: kawata nahoya(smiley)

:: song fic ::
mentions of suicide

playing …
"you don't know"
by; katelyn tarver

─
I know you've got the best intentions
Just trying to find the right words to say
Promise I've already learned my lesson
But right now, I want to be not okay
─

"[Name]" don't worry! I'm just here if you wanted. You can always approach me," Nahoya  said with his usual smile. But a little different.

"Thanks Nahoya! I'll just ... I'll just go and take some  fresh air" I said as he smiled brightly at me.

Without him knowing what I was planning ...

I reached  the rooftop and sat at the bench near the  tank placed  at the corner of the rooftop. I failed my test again, my so called parents were at the  bad mozod and left me. I think it's  fine, I mean, I can't take all the beatings, do I?

─
I'm so tired, sitting here waiting
If I hear one more "Just be patient"
It's always gonna stay the same
─

I rolled  up my sleeve and saw the bruises and cuts  they left in my body last night. I can also see all the cuts I've put myself in. I attempted to take my own life but I've seen the light shine in the darkness. I thought it would also happen to me but it's just a mere dream and wish.

I took the blade out  of my pocket and raised my arm and started  to cut it harshly.

"I hate myself! I hate it!" I started to cry, tears flowed down before my cheeks the same as the flowing of the blood dripping from my arm.

The door suddenly bangged and it revealed Nahoya, Soya, and our Wisteria-sensei.

─
So let me just give up
So let me just let go
If this isn't good for me
Well, I don't wanna know
─

"[Name]?! What are you doing?!" Wisteria-sensei asked completely horrified.

"I'm ....... I'm tired," I smiled while all the tears escaped in my eyes. "I-I ....... I-I j-just c-can't," I added as Wisteria-sensei took a step forward making me step backwards.

"[Name], people's lives have their ups and  downs. It's colorful and short!" she yelled as I shook my head by disagreeing.

"My life's been like this, beating, scolding, words that can make me tear apart," I said as my eyes widened when Nahoya's not with his brother.

─
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice
Or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
─

"Let go of me!" I yelled as I tried to resist Nahoya's hug. He just jumped and hugged  me from behind. The more I resist the tighter his hug becomes.

"Nahoya! Let me go!" I yelled once again as he spun me around to face  his face and then cup my face with his hands.

"LET ME G—," I was cut off when he suddenly smashed his lips into mine. My eyes widened and  even had a brain processing for  what the hell was going on.

He broke the kiss and as he looked at me softly with worry and panic. I got a little dizzy as he held my waist and I passed out not knowing the other events.

─
Can't stop these feet from sinking
And it's starting to show on me
You're staring while I'm blinking
But just don't tell me what you see

I'm so over all this bad luck
Hearing one more "Keep your head up"
Is it ever gonna change?
─

I woke up in the hospital bed and tried to get up when a pair of arms stopped me from moving. Face having the sign of relief and worry. Nahoya.

"[Name], listen," he said as  I just looked  down and didn't want to have eye contact with him. He held both of my shoulders and then used his left one to raise my chin and  face him but I resisted.

"[Name],  can you look at me? …please?" he begged as I raised my face to look at him directly to his eyes.

"I may not know what you've been going through. But I want you to lean on me. Being independent at times will not bring you any good. I may not know a thing but I can feel something. It's obvious in your  eyes" he said all of a sudden my body moved on its own and hugged Nahoya. He then returned the hug and he let me cry on his chest as he rested his face in my neck.

─
So let me just give up
So let me just let go
If this isn't good for me
Well, I don't wanna know

Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice
Or reasons why I'm alright

You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
─

......

"Emma-chan, Yuzuha-chan, Hina-chan!" [Name] said as she went to the  other girls and  joined  their conversation. "I think you made her cop up, Smiley," Mitsuya commented as the other  approached him as  well.

"Hmm ... I just helped her," Smiley answered. "Are you two decided to finally go out?" Angry ask. "Haven't I informed you?" Smiley asked back.

"We've been dating for 8 months now."

EDITED: 8/2/25
note: i removed the hits in the kiss, i don't even know what's the point of putting it there.