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Chapter Seventeen

San | Wooyoung

The way my heart is pounding right now, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to Wooyoung. Fear. Desperation. Regret. That's the only feelings I was able to comprehend for the past couple of days.

I was fearful that Wooyoung would never be able to forgive me, or even if he did forgive me he wouldn't feel as if he could go forward with me. Maybe one lie could be enough for him. Desperation because I would do anything for him, if that meant he would forgive me and we could be together again. Even if that meant taking a break until he felt like he was ready to be with me again. I wasn't regretful because I made a whole scene in class which led him to finding out. No, I regretted that night and so did Hongjoong. 

So here I am standing in front of my dorm room door, hoping that what Hongjoong said was true.

Once I open this door he will be here on either bed, waiting for me. Please be waiting for me.

As long as he was here waiting for me, that would mean I have a chance to fix my wrong doings. If he wasn't then that means...I can't let that be the case!

Taking a deep breath in, I unlocked the door and exhaled slowly. Opening the door, I took my eyes off the honey toned wooden floors, and observed the room. My regret growing bigger than my fear and desperation as I set my eyes on an empty room. He's not here....

Walking at almost zombie speed to my bed, I sat carelessly on the mediocre mattress and cried my eyes out.

I had to win him over no matter what. Wooyoung is the first person I've ever been like this for. He's the first person I ever loved. Sure the feeling of me being willing to die for someone scared the living shit out of me, but that couldn't possibly beat the way it consoled me. The way it dragged me into an endless pool of happiness, and gratitude. Nothing could make me willingly walk away from this feeling.

"I should be the one crying right now, jackass."

Instantly lifting my head up I saw Wooyoung standing there with a bag filled with what seemed like snacks and drinks.

"You really are something." He scoffed before placing the bag full of snacks and drinks on his bed.

"Y-you're here?" I whispered, getting up from bed quickly and making my way towards him.

"Yeah I've been here for hours, waiting for you but you took too long so I went to go get snacks." He pouted while turning his head in the opposite direction of me, expressing to me how he was still sulky.

"Please forgive me okay, I promise anything else that could possibly jeopardize our relationship I'll tell you." I spoke confidently, grabbing his hand with a reassuring smile on my face.

However, that smile quickly subsided as he yanked his hand away and stared at me with disbelief and shock.

"There's more?!" He almost yelled, his eyes widening in anger.

"I-"

"Forget it, waiting for you was clearly a mistake." He hissed before making his way towards the door.

Stopping him from leaving, I quickly got on the floor and hugged his leg.

"There's nothing else that happened with Hongjoong, I promise. Other than that, well you already know about what I used to do. I sent a couple of people to the hospital, and I almost killed two people because I lost control. No one that you know though, but if you want their names then Yeonjun and Jeongin. Q....I mean Changmin and I were more than just a one time fling, obviously. He was like a filthy habit that I couldn't shake. It's clearly over now, you're the only one I want...not even that but need. There's nothing else. I promise." I looked up at him, only to see an expressionless face staring down at me.