𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡 - 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙧 - discontinued

last nerve

|2.4|

i float across the stage without a care in the world, moving with as much fluidity and agility as i can, trying to channel my inner swanlike serenity. at the end, when i realize that i'm the last nightlark, i fly into a panic, tumbling and turning rapidly and sharply, nailing all the hard-hitting movements to the best of my ability.

i rush backstage after my number, and i'm greeted by a giddy savannah. "you were amazing!" she squeals.

"thanks." i say, smiling at her. i look around for brady, but he's nowhere to be found.

"since he wasn't about to go on stage, they made him go back to the audience." savannah explains. i look through the monitor at the audience, and i see brady sitting next to abby, munching on popcorn and talking to his mom animatedly. i giggle at the way he's shoving the buttery popcorn into his mouth, which reminds me of how he shoveled the cotton candy into his mouth at the lake last week. i look at sav, who's grinning cheekily.

"what?" i ask her.

"nothing," she says, but her smile tells me otherwise. "c'mon, let's go get ready for awards and grab our jackets. that dress looks cold." she touches one of my bare shoulders lightly.

"it is." i laugh and follow her into the dressing room.

"well!" abby says enthusiastically, rolling in on her chair. i breathe a sigh of relief. she doesn't look mad.

"line up." we stand in front of her, our moms behind us, just like at pyramid.

"in the group, the dancing itself was decent. but you're still not dancing like a cohesive group. i just see a bunch of soloists. we need to work on that." we nod. "lilliana. your solo was not what i expect from you. you let me down this week, possibly even more than last week, if possible. you need to step up your game if you want any chance of staying on this team." i felt awful for lilly. she's already devoted years to this team, and now abby's telling her she's a disappointment.

"savannah. i think you shine as a soloist. but that grand jeté was nowhere near as big as it needs to be. i'm willing to accept that one as a fluke, because it looked like you tripped and because your jetés were above average in practice." savannah beams.

"how come savannah's performance is a fluke, but my daughter's is a disappointment?" stacey butts in.

"just quit while you're behind." abby tells her warningly. "you're on my last nerve, and i will not hesitate to cut lilly. i've seen enough of her at this point." extremely reluctantly, stacey clamps her mouth shut.

"on to willow. i thought you were great." abby says simply. "you emoted, you were precise, you gave me what i wanted and more. in your solo, that is. the group? your emotions were fine, but your technique got sloppier as the piece went on." i nod, my conflicting emotions bouncing around in my head. should i be happy about the solo praise or upset about the group critique?

"maybe you're a star soloist. that's fine. but that doesn't mean you get to be lazy in the group piece. understood?"

"understood." i echo.

"moving on to our teen group awards." the announcer says in his booming voice. "third place, act number 30, we're back, from the medallion elite gymnastics academy!" i grip gianina and hannah's hands tightly.

"second place, act number 27, cloud nine, tampa bay dance center!"

"and in first place, with a score of 287.6, act number 22, haka from the abby lee dance company!" the audience claps and whoops as we accept our award, our faces beaming with excitement.

abby claps, her lips stretched into a smile. i can tell she's pleased with our second win.

"on to our overall soloists." i suck in a breath. this is it. i could either place well or fail miserably and get kicked off the team. i try not to think about it and focus on being happy for whoever wins.

"in third place, act number 41, marley with the gown!" a small girl wearing a big, poufy dress runs up to accept her award.

"in second place, act number 49, savannah with banded together!" i cheer for savannah, but my spirits are sinking lower and lower. still, i think i did amazingly. i hang on to a little thread of hope that maybe, just maybe, i've won.

"and our 2021 xpressions dance competition champion is.... act number 53, willow with the last nightlark!" i gasp and hurry up to the front of the stage to accept my trophy, as though i'm scared it's going to disappear if i don't get to it right this very second. then i reach out and give savannah a side hug.

"what studio are you from, willow?" the announcer holds out the mic to me.

"abby lee dance company!" i say, and everyone cheers.