Ever since the cock vore incident or whatever the fuck happened idk I don't remember, Parappa and Matt became sworn enemies. No longer were these two pups best friends in da world. Hatred is all they saw.
The conflict got to a point where the once anticipated Parappa the Rapper 3 got canceled. Matt became a heroin addict while Parappa became hooked on coke. Now that part was a lie, it was actually a rumor made up by the FUCKING BRI'ISH, a popular tabloid magazine in the United Kingdom.
"Honestly, this rumor has ruined my life, and possibly Matt's as well." said Parappa in his interview with PeePee magazine. "It's true that Matt and I's friendship is completely ruined, but there wasn't any moment where I wished for his career to be ruined. He's a talented basketball player and it's horrible of the NBA to believe such a foolish rumor."
The interviewer responded with "lol."
Nearly 20 years would pass by, and during this time, Parappa would receive the news that his dear childhood friend Daffy the Duck had passed away due to thlamming his penith in the car door. After letting the initial shock run through, he reluctantly picked up the phone to break the news to Matt. Honestly, when was the last time he even called him? He wouldn't call this the best reason to reconnect with his old pal, but it would also not be fair to let him in the dark about his close friend's passing.
Parappa scrolled through his contacts, his finger movements getting slower as his reached to the M section. Maria? She's dead. Mario? Haven't talked to that man in ages. Matt? Wait, there he was.
Parappa tapped the call button on his phone and patiently waited for Matt to pick up his call.
"Whae de fook aer ye callin me you wee lil cow?"
"Matt now is not the time to pretend to be a Scottish stereotype my god."
"Aaaah ok fine. Why the hell are you calling me?"
"Do..you...you remember Daffy, right?"
Matt paused for a few seconds. "Y-Yeah, I do. Haven't spoken to him since 11th grade though. What's he up to?"
"He is deceased, Matt"
Matt dropped his phone in shock. Da hell?
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO how"
"He slammed his penis in the car I was there Matt it was horrible :("
"wtf unsexy!"
da funeral happened the next day. Matt and Pppprrrappa the rapper were crying their fucking eyes out.
"Now, it is a sad day. A sad day I say! Today, we say goodbye to our friend. Daffy Duck. Lmao yeah." said Bugs Bunny.
"Fuck." said Mario
Daffy's corpse was looking decent for a dead motherfucker. Apparently Luigi went to mortician school and was on top of his graduating class so that's why he ended up being Daffy's embalmer.
"Oh my god...it's so touching how good care Luigi took of Daffy's body. He looks like he's sleeping!" exclaimed Matt.
"Yeah." Parappa agreed
Uuuuuh they buried Daffy Duck while playing an Eminem song because that's what Daffy liked.
"White!" said Lord Farquaad or however you spell that crusty motherfucker's name I don't know I'm tired.
"Wow that sucked balls let's kiss" said Matt
"Ok." said Parappa
They kissed.
DA END
