Chapter 30: Sobering Addict.

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Listen to Les - Childish Gambino to enjoy this chapter more!

You haven't spoke to him for a month or so. You didn't want to leave just yet, you still have everything at home. The thought of continuously running away and your past chasing you just haunts you in a way you can't word it out. You didn't know how to tell him and how he would take it. You stared at your phone and thought of how to approach him. It's 12 am and you could hear the birds chirping. The smell of cigarettes suddenly whiffed by your nose as you breath in, making you immediately look out your window. It must be him, right? It should be. I want it to be him. You looked down only to see him sitting under your window.

"Hanma?" You called him out as he looked up to see you. His eyes widened and a smile crept up his face. "Yo." He held his hand up and waved at you. You couldn't help but smiled at the beautiful you hadn't seen for multiple weeks. You slowly climbed out your window with hesitation. "We haven't talked in a while since I brought up that topic." He said and pulled you closer to his side. "Yeah, I'm still thinking about it." You replied, resting your head on his shoulder. "I know you already have an answer, you're just to scared to answer me." He chuckled and ruffled your hair aggresively.

                  He knew you well. He could see right through every lie you make. "You aren't ready, hm?" He moved and sat in front of you. You slowly nodded, not knowing how to word it. "You don't have to go with me. We can still stay in contact, you know?" He pulled out his little phone and waved with it. You smiled widely, he really knew how to make you smile even though parting seemed really depressing. "But, I'll miss your touch." You admitted and pressed your head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around your shaking body. Your tears were piling up, waiting seconds for it to slide down your cheeks.

                   "It's okay, I'll come visit you alright?" He pushed your chin up to look at him. His cheeks grew red and he avoided eye contact. "Don't cry." He added as his thumb softly caressed your cheeks. Still his eyes found a way not to meet yours. "You're still young. Don't get into trouble like me okay? I've gotten into enough trouble it's dangerous for you to be around me." He finally faced you eye to eye and tried to comfort you. "Stop, Hanma. I swear I don't care about my reputation anymore." You buried your head into his covered chest and cried out. "No, it's not that. You're literally exposed to danger everytime you're around me."

                You furrowed your eyebrows, confused. Seriously, you don't care about getting harmed if it's for him. "Why so?" You asked, wondering. His left reached your waist and he pushed your chin up with his other hand. "They know you're my weakness. The only way they'd get me to give up is if they take you away from me." He whispered. The words were comforting, yet slightly disturbing. "I don't think you get it, y/n. I'd do anything if it's for your safety. And the best way to save you right now is to stay away from you." The words made you tear up. Was it from happiness, or sadness? You couldn't tell. It's in between, tore in between wanting the best yet wanting to be dangerously together all the time.

               "I'm gonna go soon, y/n. Let's go back to the place we first met." He smiled and pointed the playground with his thumb. You wanted to break down, though he looked slightly happy to part with you. He grabbed your hand. "Hey, it's the playground that changed both our lives. It's like, a miracle." You could see his tears forming up. Why must all lovers part? Why is losing another so painfully beautiful? Why must it happen? Is there a love where death parts them? You held onto his shirt and cried even harder.

He picked you up gracefully and made sure your head remained buried into his chest. He carried you all the way over to the playground, sitting down with you on his lap. He pat your head multiple times slowly, making you feel comforted. You could finally stop your overflowing tears. You look at him and he was staring at you the whole time, with glistening eyes. "Oh? You've stopped crying." He wiped your tears away and smiled. "Should we do what we always had done?" He asked again, slightly tilting his head. You nodded. You knew what he meant, of course. That little pack of cigarettes he had always carried around, with slight bit of molly slipped in between the nicotine.

"Your dad's gonna kill you." He pulled them out and placed one between your lips. "Hold still." He said as he placed another between his, and lit both yours and him at the same time. He chuckled as he took his first hit and blew it off beside you, avoiding it from hitting your face. The both of you continued smoking to pass the time. You burnt your cigarette to the ground and smashed it with your feet. His rough hands reached your face and caressed your cheeks softly, slowly pulling you into a kiss. But he teased you, the closer you got to him the more he pulled away, keeping a tiny distance from your lips touching.

He gave in and finally let you make the move, making you take the lead. He pulled you in deeper and kissed you more passionately, with his hands holding your waist down. The kiss got sloppy really quick, with your hands around his neck and the messy makeout session. It started raining and the both of you were still having the time of your life. A few minutes passed and he finally pulled away with a heated face. You couldn't help but break into tears again, realising this would probably be the last time you could taste his lips. The last time a kiss lasted long. The last kiss in the rain.

                 "Let's kiss again sometime, in another lifetime. In another universe."

a/n: HEHEHEHEHE for those who chose the sad ending, i see u angst lovers 👀👀 im an avid fan of sad endings as well so I really hope you enjoyed this ending! If you don't mind, please leave a vote and check the other ending out!! Have a great day<3

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