TodoBaku Stuff

Starting Over From Ground Zero - Part II

Days passed, and eventually weeks.

Todoroki barely noticed, having thrown himself head-first into work as a way to avoid the emptiness of his apartment. He didn’t want to go back. Didn’t want to spend a single moment there if he could avoid it.

Everything reminded him of Bakugou. Every time he ate a meal, he was reminded of Bakugou in the kitchen, teasing him good-naturedly about how to properly steam rice or boil noodles as he made them dinner. Every time he walked into in his living room, he couldn’t forget the way Bakugou had sat engrossed for hours as he read book after book with his glasses perched comfortably on his nose. Each time he went to the gym, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the way Bakugou would quietly attempt to outdo him on the treadmill, or lift just slightly more while doing weights, or stretch just a bit farther than Todoroki in ever-silent competition.

He couldn’t sleep in his bedroom anymore, too hyper aware of what had passed between them and unable to forget a single detail.

It took him a full week to stop accidentally setting out two mugs of coffee in the mornings.

It took him even longer to stop hoping Bakugou would simply show up on his doorstep and walk back into Todoroki’s life the same way he’d left it.

Izuku texted him almost constantly, trying to check in on him, trying to pry the details of what had transpired out of him. Mostly, he knew Izuku was just worried, because if Todoroki had been a workaholic before, that was nothing compared to the way he was now, fighting crime now single-mindedly like a man possessed.

He took up every possible shift he could get his hands on, running his standard schedule plus volunteering for emergency patrols as backup. He was constantly on the go, his notoriety among the Pro Hero world and in hero news skyrocketing with the sheer number of captures he was involved in as a result. He only went home to shower, change clothes, and feed Lady. Occasionally, he even remembered to feed himself, too.

He barely slept. He didn’t see the point, when all he’d do was dream of things that were now completely out of his grasp.

Todoroki had the feeling that, had he been a normal person with normal human emotions, he might have broken down crying. He might have screamed, or yelled, or otherwise acted out in a way that let people know he was hurt and upset and broken-hearted. But Todoroki had grown up suppressing those sorts of emotions, and despite now understanding that those things were ok to do and express when he was hurting –that it was alright to reach out to friends for support—he just couldn’t seem to figure out how to go about it.

So he kept working. And he kept firm to a refusal to watch the news on the off chance he would see Bakugou’s face or name mentioned, terrified of having to start this entire grieving process all over again.

That was, until one night, on a rare occasion when Todoroki wasn’t able to find work and was stuck at home petting Lady in the dark of his living room, when his phone lit up with a text.

[Izuku]: are you home right now?

He really, really hoped Izuku wouldn’t try and come over. He was in no mood to be around people. He never was, these days.

[Todoroki]: Why do you ask?

[Izuku]: i’ll take that as a yes. check the news.

Todoroki frowned at his phone. Izuku knew he wasn’t watching the news anymore, and he also knew damn well why.

[Todoroki]: I really don’t want to.

[Izuku]: todoroki-kun if you don’t turn on the news right this instant i am coming over there myself and forcing you to watch this.