He Ate My Heart

He Ate My Heart - Chapter 1: Love Hurts

Chapter One:  Love Hurts

"I love you, Josh," I whispered in his ear. 

"What?" he murmured in my hair. I sighed and said it again. 

"I love you." He jerked upward and looked me in the eye. There was a glint in his eye. 

"Why?" I contemplated his question. He was hot, of course. With his hazel eyes, dirty blonde hair, and ripped body, I would call him a sex god. We had also been dating for over two weeks now. Wasn't that a long time? I thought this moment was perfect to tell him. Right after we did it. 

"Because I do," I responded, a little annoyed that he hadn't said the three simple words right back to me. 

He sat up and rubbed the back of his head. "Look, Hannah-" 

"Oh, you don't need to tell it to me. I know you already do, right?" I interrupted. I hooked my arms around his neck and pulled him back down on top of me. My lips found his and we started a little tongue game before he pulled away again. 

"I don't love you, Hannah. I just like you," he stated, then sighed. I followed his actions and sat up, too. 

"What do you mean? Did what we just do mean anything to you?" I said, hurt. I didn't normally just do it with someone just because I felt like it! I really loved him! 

He got up and grabbed his jeans from across the room. Wow, I didn't notice we were that rough. "Wait, where are you going!" I called to him. 

"I'm leaving. Don't call me, okay? I don't think we can see each other anymore," he said, then walked out of my bedroom after gathering all his things. I heard the front door slam close and I closed my eyes.

Three. Breathe.

Two. Breath.

One. Breathe.

"AHHHHHH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I pulled on my dress that was hanging from my closet door then ran around my room, pulling things off shelves and ripping stuffed bears on my dresser. I turned on my iPod and hooked it up to my speakers. The song 'Monster' by Lady Gaga played. It was time for destruction. 

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An hour later, I was a little more calm. I was sitting in the middle of my room criss-cross style on my carpeted floor. It was littered with bits of broken things and stuffing from my bears. I still had one more bear left. It was in my left hand and in my other hand was a pair of scissors. 

"This one's for dating him," I muttered. The left arm fell to the ground. 

"This one's for loving him." The right ear dropped. 

"This one's for showing him my room." The bead nose fell into a pile of stuffing. 

"And this one's for having sex with him." The entire head dropped onto my lap. The brown fur tickled my feet. I dropped what was left of the bear and examined my work. Satisfied, I wiped my hands together like an evil mastermind.

I heard a car beep and jumped up. That meant my mom was home from work! I ran around my room, trying to throw stuff into the trash and trying to put things back together. A piece of glass punctured the skin on one of my feet and I howled in pain. 

"Stupid glass! I hate you!" I screeched, watching the blood drip out of the wound. I dropped onto my king-sized bed and cried my heart out.

The door of my bedroom opened a crack. "Hannah, are you okay?" my mom asked quietly. 

"No," I mumbled, my face in my pillow. The door opened wider and I heard her gasp. I turned my head to the door to face her. 

"What did you do?" she asked, horrified. 

"Josh broke up with me." She huffed and looked around my room. 

"I'm sorry about that. I really liked that boy. And this needs to be cleaned up! I don't get why you ruin your room just from your emotions! This is the fifth time in three months!" she scolded. I knew she loved me, but she also thought I was crazy.  

"Sorry, Mom! I just can't do this anymore. It hurts so much!" I yelled. I was angry at her for not understanding. I was having a heartache!

"That's it! Normal sixteen year olds don't act like this! You are going to see a shrink! I'm going to find one!" she yelled back, then slammed my door shut. I grunted and pulled my orange bed covers onto my skinny body. I knew that she wouldn't find a shrink. Not in Arizona. It was going to take a while. I was sure. 

"Hannah! I found one! Dr. Paul will be your shrink! We're visiting her tomorrow after school!" my mom called through my door. Okay, she worked fast. I should know that by now. She was a single mother who had to deal with me. My dad died in a motorcycle accident a day before I was born. Sad, I know. I've always imagined him as one of those biker guys who wear leather jackets and have big black boots. Like in the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants the Movie! The motorcycle riding guy that rode around finding Spongebob and Patrick so that he could step on them with his spiked boots. I loved that movie. 

My hand found the remote to the flatscreen TV on my wall. Yes, my mother was a lawyer, meaning she made a lot of money. I flipped through the channels and landed on Gossip Girl, my favorite show. It was a rerun of the first season. Blake Lively, who played as Serena van der Woodsen, walked in and Chace Crawford, who played as Nate Archibald, followed her. I made myself comfortable on my bed and lay down on my stomach.

_____

Thirty minutes later after the show, I was dead tired. My eyelids kept drooping onto my green-blue eyes. My whole body was aching from lying in the awkward position.

"Hannah, you want food? I ordered pizza just the way you like it," my mom suddenly called from the other side of the door.

"Okay, mom. I'll be down in a minute," I called back sleepily. I sat up and stretched before trudging over to the doorway. I had school tomorrow, I suddenly remembered, since today was a Sunday. I groaned outloud as I walked down the back staircase into the steel kitchen. My eyes wandered over to where the pizza stacks were.

"PIZZA! Thanks, Mom!" I yelled, then dived for the yummy, delicious food. I opened the lid slowly and let the waft of freshly baked pizza drift to my nose. I licked my lips at the sight of the pepperonni and pineapple topped pizza with extra cheese and fluffy crust. Just the way I liked it. I sat down at the kitchen counter and ate the pizza, eating every single bit of the medium pizza. You would think I was fat, but no, I was a size 1/2.

I thanked my mom again before walking back upstairs to my room. I changed into my post-breakup PJ's: my pretty pale pink lingerie set from Victoria's Secret. I brushed my teeth and washed my face with my grapefruit cleanser then settled into my bed. I slowly fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

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Note from the Author:

Wow! I did two chapters in one day . . . woo! Anyways, how do you like it? I put some random thoughts into it, like the thing about Spongebob. I'm going to try to make Hannah particulary crazy. Not like, a loon, but more like thinking kind of crazy about different things. It's going to be kind of hard, because I write better with like more, umm, deeper stuff I guess? Haha. Funny isn't my thing unless I'm in a hyper mood like earlier. EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH GOSSIP GIRL, by the way. Anyways,

Comment, please!

Fan, too!

And vote, since my back aches SO MUCH from Insanity with CK!