LIABILITIES

Chapter Ten - A Wrong Choice of Words

ELLIS

Ellis you're going to lose your leg. Going to lose your leg. Lose your leg.

"Ellis!" Hadley's voice breaks through the fog in my mind. "Let's sit down, yeah?" She's reaching up to get a good grip of my shoulders to shakes me awake from my daze. I didn't even realise I had stood up.

"You're lying." I whisper.

"El -"

"Hadley, please don't touch me right now." I say while removing her hands from me. I don't know why I do it because I always feel better when they're there.

Catia sighs, "Ellis I know this is hard to take in, but -"

"How the fuck would you know?" My voice booms off of the four white walls. "Have you ever been in this situation before, Catia? You have no idea how I feel, right now." I point at my own chest, "My life is falling apart and I don't know how to stop it. Can't you see that?!" I take a deep breath and try to slow my heart rate, "Why did this have to happen to me?" My voice cracks and so does the last remaining bit of my pride. "And why - why did -"

I feel small, cold hands push my back down to sit on the bed. They rub my shoulder and move up to my neck, lifting my face up. "Hey." Hadley's voice is sweet and gentle and it forces me to pay attention to her. "Why don't we go home and come back next week, yeah?"

"I - I don't know." I look at her eyes, begging for her help. "I don't know what to do."

Catia clears her throat. "That's actually a good idea. I'm going to write in another appointment for next week. I understand you'll need some time to process this information." She starts walking to the door but turns around, "But, Ellis, just know that if you start following our instructions - then things won't need to escalate that far." She shoots me a weak smile. "I'll email you across your next appointment time." And then she leaves.

Hadley's still got her hands on my shoulders, "Let's just go home, okay?"

I shake my head, "I - I can't."

"What? Why?"

"I can't tell my mom." I dread to think of what she'd say if she knew I was being so reckless. The hard truth is, I never really bothered to take care of myself after... what happened. I didn't care for my life anymore let alone my leg. But something's changed these past few weeks and suddenly this feels like the worst news in the world.

"You wanna go somewhere else?" She says.

I just sigh again and say, "I don't know." To which she takes me by the arm and helps me to my feet.

"Come on." She whispers and she leads me out of the hospital.

- - -

Around the corner from the hospital is a green space. There's a park, an outdoor concert theatre and a few benches but the main attraction is the flowers. There's colour on every square inch of the field. We walk to a bench and Hadley stops me.

"Okay, let's stop here. It's nice and quiet...gives you some time to...think." I can tell she doesn't really know what to say.

"I don't wanna think."

We sit down, she turns towards me and speaks sternly - "Listen, this whole situation might not be as bad as it seems!"

I rub my head. "How can it -"

"What your nurse said was worse case scenario. She's not saying that that's what is going to happen. She's just saying that that's what it might result in -If you don't start actually listening to the professionals."