F*cked up and died twice

Chapter 1

August 2011

"Amara shut up omg" Tara told me annoyingly. I was a noisy b*tch so I kind of deserved that, I chuckled to myself. Its currently 7:30 am in New Jersey, I'm sitting on my table waiting for our boring science professor to come and announce our grades. 

After about 30 minutes of talking with my classmates, Mr. Finch finally showed up. He had written our grade on a piece of paper and distributed it to the class. "I am disappointed with your grades and I hope you can do better next semester". He sighed and there was a long pause. "But somehow one of you performed outstandingly this semester and I would like to acknowledge her. Please Ms. Bronah stand up, thank you for the hard work" I stood up quickly and everyone was clapping their hands. 

A few hours had pass by and everyone was rushing to the cafeteria, when suddenly Tara approached me. "B*TCH HOW THE F*CK DO YOU ACE EVERY CLASS?! Like, all you've been doing is f*cking around with men and clubbing". Tara curiously asked me in the most aggressive way. "I don't know honestly, its probably just because I listen attentively in class?" We both just looked at each other and laughed and proceeded to go to the cafeteria.

Tara and I both grabbed a tray and somehow they still serve the weird looking sloppy joe, served quote and quote "fresh orange juice" but the pop tarts are to die for even though they came from a box. I chuckled to myself. After we got our food, we immediately went and looked for a table. We sat down on a vacant spot and Tara was busy socializing with a couple of freshmen. I was minding my own business and planned out what I was gonna do later.

Okay, so the plan is either go to the club with Tara or stay up all night and do a bit of studying and eat chips all night hmm... Yes, I actually study even though I usually b*tch around with men. So staying at home and studying it is then. After I barely touched my food, the bell finally rang and I went to my next subject which was literature, I may not look like it but I read a lot. I also loved our literature teacher, Ms. Dina. She always talked passionately about finding your own universe every time we read a book, she also loved rambling about how beautiful life can be when you see it in another perspective. One example that she gave us was "When you think about reading a novel, think about how the characters look in other peoples imagination. It's like making worlds of our own, escaping reality, and playing a movie in our heads!". Ms. Dina always spoke those words with dedication and passion. Even though the others yawned and were bored, I was always delighted about how she viewed the world.

I finally arrived and I was just in time since Ms. Dina was reviewing about what we learned about the book she had assigned to us. Most were uninterested, but I listened attentively as I was answering almost every question about the book. An hour passed by and bell rang, everyone grabbed their bags and went out while I walked towards Ms. Dina, "Ms. Dina, I loved the book that you assigned. It was amazing. Do you perhaps have any other books to recommend?". She immediately had a smile on her face and we basically had an hour long conversation about different novels. After having a very fun talking with Ms. Dina, I finally took the school bus and went home.

I arrived at my home, it was spick and span until I went to my fathers bedroom. The desk was filled with empty bottles of different types of liquor and my father was sitting on the living room  watching football. It reeked of alcohol. I went quietly into my room, I sat down and thought about what we were gonna have for dinner. suddenly my phone rang. It was mom.

"Hello, mom?"

"Hi dear, how have you been holding up lately?". I was so happy to hear her voice.

"I've been great mom, how are you and Sofie?"

"We're doing great! You see, me and Sofie have been gardening lately. We've had so much fun planting vegetables and harvesting them!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Soon dear I'll save up enough money to let you live with us, so please wait, okay? I love you."

"Of course mom I'll wait, and I love you too"

I hung up and there was a loud banging on the door. "AMARA!!! OPEN THIS F*CKING DOOR!!!" it was my dad. I got up and opened the door and my dad was standing in front of me. "Go buy me some food". I interrupted him and said "I need money". 

"Use you moms money, I know that b*tch gives you allowance" he responded.

"But dad  I need that, I'm saving up for colle-". He proceeded to slap me on the face and interrupted my explanation.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN ACT UP AND SH*T?! JUST DO WHAT I F*CKING TELL YOU AND GO BUY ME SOME F*CKING FOOD YOU B*TCH!!!" he reeked of alcohol.

I grabbed my wallet, jacket and walked out the door. 

Dad has been abusive ever since mom left him... Mom and dad got divorced about a year ago since dad was caught with his mistress. My mother filed a divorce and left for Switzerland to live with her sister but she only had enough money to bring one of us to Switzerland, so I willingly said that I would stay with dad for the time being so she can bring Sofie with her first. The moment mom left dad has been an alcohol addict and has been physically abusing me. I never told anyone about my situation since I'll be leaving soon and my dad is already pathetic as ever.

While I was gathering my thoughts altogether I just decided that I'll buy some chicken and a few bags of chips. I walked back towards my house, grabbed the few bags of chips and went straight into my room. I opened my laptop, logged into Facebook and suddenly I got a chat notification from a guy.