꧁ Short Stories ꧂

A battlefield of scars

"But do they actually care?"

"I am so drained out of live and nobody realizes."

"My Anxiety is so bad, I can't even go grocery shopping anymore."

You scoff when you read these sad little Statements on the anonymus Website that you came across while you were searching for some interesting stuff to kill some time. Which are the dark net websites on your new crash computer, because a virus already destroyed your last one. You are not looking for delight through some brutal, cruel, or basically gross video or whatever. You are just curious. A sarcastic smile grows bigger and bigger on your face, knowing that most of these comments are coming from little self-diagnosed 10-year-old teenagers who just had a small fight with their parents and think that anyone cares about their pathetic cries for attention.

These little ones don't know how lucky they actually are. They don't have an abusive father waiting for them to come home, a bully breaking their bones for being confident or having to sleep outside because they got kicked out or never had a home to begin with. A harsh giggle gets away from your lips, when you recall a couple of years. When you thought that depression was something you pretended to have because it was cool, anxiety because everyone had it, faking an eating disorder just to gain some attention from your parents. Now there is no day that goes by without you cursing your own stupidity. Because you never, ever wish to suffer from a mental illness. You gaze at your lower legs.

Chuckling about the way that you were bragging about your legs being faultless, not one scar noticeable on them. That was half a month prior. Presently? What you see is like a war zone. The blades against your skin and the wounds are the leftovers that will never disappear or let you forget. Again, you blame your own stupidity. What the hell were you thinking? Reading books, not caring about getting triggered, because nothing would happen. It is now too late. You will always be a sinner who broke every single rule of morality, loyalty, and friendship because that's the word that is cut into your skin. Now the lines are white and smooth instead of dark red and crusty, but they will always remind you of your mistakes.