7 & me

13. Gifts

Y O U R   P E R S P E C T I V E

I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I was so confused. Conflicting feelings of lust and anger raced through me. I didn't want to be a whore. But I also didn't want to lose them. What happened this morning with Yoongi was so wrong in so many ways, but it had felt so amazing. The idea of doing something like that again or even more or with Jimin instead was so tempting. But would the other guys expect the same thing? I wasn't sure if I liked the others in the same way as I had fallen for Suga and Jimin. And what kind of problems would it create?

I was getting dizzy from all the thoughts in my head.

I knew nothing anymore.

I just knew that I didn't want to think.

No more thoughts.

I looked at Jimin, who had gotten up and looked at me helplessly, unsure of what to do.

God, he was so pretty.

I took two steps towards him and threw my arms around his neck again, and without thinking I closed my eyes and pressed my mouth onto his plump lips.

I could feel him freezing. Not moving as I kissed him while tears ran down my face.

I took a step closer to him, my body now against his, and I started to run my fingers through his hair.

My brain was finally silent.

Slowly Jimin opened his mouth, finally kissing me back. I could feel his body relax as he put his hands on my waist.

His lips were so soft. Just like Yoongi's had been. This kiss was very different though from the one I had shared with Yoongi this morning.

That kiss had been passionate, slightly rushed, lustful.

This kiss was slow and lazy.

Jimin softly nipped at my lips.

His tongue caressed mine and the warmth of his mouth felt like a comfortable bath to me.

I felt at peace.

After a while he pulled his head back slightly, resting his forehead against mine.

'The rest will be here soon,' he sighed. His breath stroked my face and it smelled like peaches.

'Do you want to leave?' he asked me. It sounded like he had to force the words out of himself. Like didn't want to say them.

'No,' I said instinctively.

'Do you want to talk to the boys about it?' he asked me. I opened my eyes.

'No,' I said again, without really thinking.

'Do you want me to talk to them about it?' Jimin asked me.

I shook my head again.

I could hear some stumbling in the hallway and some muffled voices.

Jimin had already let go of me and I reluctantly took a step back.

At that moment I decided.
I was done thinking.
I would just do whatever the fuck I felt like or didn't feel like. Why make life so hard? Why overthink? Maybe it was all just a dream and I'd wake up one day, realizing that nothing had changed.

I bend over and grabbed the bags from the ground.

'Wait, don't you...' Jimin started, but I cut him off.

'I'll need these since I wish to keep working here,' I said numbly.

I turned around and walked towards my room, carrying the heavy bags in my hands.

Just as I closed the door of my room behind me, I could hear the voices of Namjoon and Jin entering the house and laughing together.

I put down the bags and stared at myself in the mirror. My face was still wet from my tears. I quickly wiped them away.

Right.

No more crying.

No more overthinking.

From now on I'd just do whatever the fuck I wanted to.

I'd be like one of those badass women I'd seen in movies and dramas who were able to use their sexuality as a strength and weapon instead of a weakness.

And if things got awkward or went sideways, I could always just as easily leave.

No one here in Korea knew me anyway.

So what the hell did it matter?

I took a deep breath and smiled at myself in the mirror.

Baddass me, here I am!

The shopping bags drew my attention and I decided to look inside.

There were seven maid outfits in them.

Purple, pink, light blue, dark blue, grey, black, and dark red. All the colors were exactly the right shade to match my skin color

All of them were made of high-quality material and all of them had a beautiful designs with cute ruffles and details.

I decided the try on the pink one.

It fit me like a glove. The skirt was a bit longer and the top part covered my chest much better.

I hadn't expected Jimin to buy me something that would be less revealing instead of more.

I admired myself in the mirror. I had to admit, I looked fucking cute.

There was another bag that I hadn't unpacked yet.

Curious, I turned it upside down on my bed.

It was filled with beauty products. Facemasks, body butter, night creams, day creams, vitamins, make-up products, bath bombs, and a rose with a card on it.

Intrigued I picked up the rose. It was a fake one without thorns. I read the card.

"I hope you will take care of us until this rose dies."

I smiled. This had been very sweet of him to do.

I put away the other dresses and make-up products.

It had been very thoughtful of Jimin to gift me all those things. I couldn't help but wonder about them all.

If I were to try and take care of them... and maybe more... It might come in handy to know more about them.

I took a seat behind my laptop and started googling the band members' names.