7 & me

23. Girlfriend

Y O U R   P E R S P E C T I V E

I thought about what Jin said as we walked. They had lost most of their privacy. Everywhere they'd go they would be followed by fans. Everything they did and said could get recorded and could be used against them. All the relationships they had could be front-page news. 

I remembered reading about a rumour about Jungkook being in a relationship with a girl, to which some of the fans started reacting negatively. They'd even threaten to cut themselves if he'd not break it off. It was completely absurd. 

After all, they were young men in the prime of their lives with normal wants, needs, dreams and desires. 

'Doesn't it bother you that you can't have a girlfriend?' I blurted out. 

Jin looked at me in surprise. 

'We can if we want to. We'd just have to keep it on the down-low,' he said simply. 

'Then, have you had a girlfriend?' I asked him curiously. 

'Not in a long time,' Jin said shaking his head.

'Do you miss it?' I asked as we stopped at a small grass field.

'Not really, I mean, we have you now,' he said shrugging. Then suddenly he ripped his hand from mine and quickly waved his hands at me frantically.

'NO! I mean- I'm so sorry, that sounded like- I didn't mean to-' he was scrambling for words, tripping over them. 

He looked quite cute in the way he tried to apologize to me.  

But his efforts weren't necessary.

Even though his words could seem disrespectful, I didn't mind them.

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed myself against him in a soft hug. Jin froze.

'I will be your girlfriend if you want me to,' I whispered, feeling slightly nervous. 

I could feel his heart beating in his chest, as well as my own. 

Carefully Jin put his arm around me, using the other one to put a finger underneath my chin and lifting my head so I would look at him.

'I would love that,' he said. His expression had changed and his voice was much lower than usual. 

I looked into his eyes, his face close to mine. 

I had never seen him like this before. 

Jin had always been, in my eyes, the goofy older brother. Neither sexy as Jimin nor cute as Jungkook. 

But the way he was looking at me now, it was definitely not the friendly, considerate, and calculated older brother I was used to. 

It was the same way Hobi had looked at me when he had fed me the candy. The same way Yoongi had looked at me when I had fallen on him in his bed. The same way Namjoon had looked at me when I had pulled him into my room. 

It was definitely lust. 

My stomach gave a jolt, and the sexual frustration that Hoseok had caused me which had finally died down around dinner time, came running back into me. 

It was as if Jin could read my thoughts.

'Can I kiss you?' He asked me. There was no waver in his voice this time. No stumbling or searching for words, nor insecurity. 

'Yes,' I said breathlessly. 

His lips found mine and he kissed me carefully.  He was soft and sweet, almost lazy, like my kiss with Jimin had been. I loved lazy kisses just as much as passionate ones. They made me feel at ease, relaxed. It gave me the certainty that nothing was expected of me and everything I'd decide to do would be a gift to them. 

He licked my lips and the feeling of it made me press my body closer to him. 

I felt so safe in his arms. 

I could kiss him forever.

But far too soon he broke our kiss.

'We should probably head back before they come looking for us,' Jin said, his voice still deep and his eyes still sparkling. 

I knew what his words meant. It meant that this would be as far as this would go for today. 

Some part inside of me howled angrily. This had been the second time I had been making out and wanting more, but not getting it. 

'Right,' I said trying hard to hide the disappointment in my voice.

Jin wrapped his arm around my waist and took my hand again, and we made our way back in silence. 

I would probably need to take a long cold shower when I'd get home...