words you'll never hear, words you'll never feel | sooshu

chapter one

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

[Flashback]

Misery and freedom.

I didn't know that the idea of misery and freedom would come across their respective paths, because as far as I know they're very contradictory to each other, their universes parallel to each letter they're made of, each syllables they have from within.

Or is it just for me?

Pools of tears began to inhabit the circular space of my eyes as I ran endlessly, not minding where my feet would bring me, forgetting the fact that I wore heels on my first day of work.

My mind was clouded with such series of negative emotions. It was slowly ending me.

Despite the numerous eyes looking at me with questioning gazes, I ran and ran, not even minding to give a single fuck.

I sat down on a nearby park bench when I saw with my tear-filled eyes that I was fortunately in a park named Hangang. I placed both of my hands on the park bench, clenching it tightly as I let the hot tears fall down my cheeks.

And that's when I realized that I only brought my phone and wallet. I forgot my bag back in the office.

When frustration started to devour my whole body, my phone began to ring. It was my mother.

"Yeh Shuhua. What have you done?" My mother shouted, her Mandarin was more furious than ever that it can reach South Korea in a minute.

"I messed up, I know. Big time. I already apologized to him but it seemed like he wanted me to make a full bow. It was a minimal mistake, mom. Minimal." I replied with a shaky voice as I tried to hide the fact that I'm crying.

"You chose to go there for our company, Shuhua. You need to start from the beginning, from being a staff so you'll be ready soon to be the next CEO. And now, you don't even know how to handle being a low staff? Coffee on a special document? Really, Shu?"

Tears fell once again as I felt ridiculous about what happened earlier. My mother's right but I didn't really chose to go here for our business.

It was for another reason.

The line went quiet for awhile before my mom spoke up again. "You wanted to go to a different country right after graduation, right? This is what you wanted right? What else, Yeh Shuhua? What else do you want more just so you could return the favor back?"

"I told you, mom, this is what I want! I want to go to a country and live alone and grow. Because I wanted freedom. Freedom is that one big thing that I've never even tasted in my whole life! Not twice, or even once!"

"What?" She raised her voice this time.

"Have you ever asked why I wanted to go to South Korea in the first place? Everything is according to you and dad! You didn't care, not even a single bit to me."

I spoke aggressively in Mandarin as I talked to my mother from Taiwan on the phone. "Freedom. That was and is still what I want."

The fresh breeze of the nearby Han River gave me additional chills to my current situation. It is indeed what I'm lacking ever since I was born, freedom. Everything was according to their will. Everything was already planned.

Not even minding my siblings and I's feelings.

"Tomorrow, I want you to go back to that office of ours and apologize to Mr. Park. End of discussion." My mother dodged all of my rants and ended the call right away.

Sighing in pure frustration and devastation, I buried my face on both of the palms of my hands, letting another set of tears fall down.

I was sobbing uncontrollably until someone lightly tapped my shoulder. Her touch immediately sent electricity to my body.

"Oh my god."

Wow. This girl standing in front of me's a blessing in disguise. She has these unique features that another girl wouldn't have. The mole near her eyes's appealing. Wow.

She was holding her phone in front of her face, her eyes squinting as she started to read something from it.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you and I didn't intended to eavesdrop but you accidentally left your bag in front of a building and I ran up to you to give it back but it seems like you didn't hear me calling you. I chased you from that building up to here. I'm also sorry if there are grammatical errors in this translation since I heard you are not Korean. I'm sorry, here's your bag."

She handed me my bag but in exchange, I immediately hugged her. I didn't know why but I just did it anyways but it felt like the safest place in the world.

I instantly felt calm.

"Kamsamnida." I whispered on her ear and she instantly pulled back.

"Hey," She ridiculously looked at me and jokingly frowned. "You can speak Korean. Why did you gave me a hard time earlier with Naver translate? I felt like a total idiot but I hope that sounded good enough for you to understand."

"Believe me, that was amazing." I smiled and grabbed my bag from her left hand. She smiled back and I offered her a hand for her to shake.

"Yeh Shuhua. Nice to meet you, girl translator." I teased her and she shook our hands together.

"Seo Soojin. Nice to meet you too."

[End of Flashback]

From that moment on, I knew that you were going to have a huge impact upon my life. Without a doubt, I knew it from the start.

I knew from the moment I pulled you in for a hug that those arms were meant to be made for mine to connect with. The feeling was so right, like how a lock would click in with the right key.

Grabbing a clean sheet of paper from my backpack, after throwing the cup of hot chocolate from earlier, I immediately wrote down the things I wanted to tell you, Soojin.

The letter had some few drops of tears as I felt nostalgic. The bench I was sitting on is the bench where I sat 5 years ago, when I first met this girl translator.

And on the same bench, 5 years later, who would've thought that I was still crying but with a different reason?

5 years ago, you saw me cry. 5 years later, you were the reason for my tears.

Folding the paper in a neat way, I placed it securely in my bag as I fixed my things to go home. Taking a one last breathe of Han River, inevitable tears suddenly rolled down my cheeks, and my knees began to weaken, making me sit down again on the bench.

Why is this so damn hard, Seo Soojin?

Year 2016, Hangang Park Bench.
The part when we first met.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜
a/n: stay safe and don't skip meals.